I wouldn’t be at all surprised!
May I ask you a question? Do you mind if I ask you a question, because you seem to have a problem, one hell of a problem! Would you mind telling me what it is?
All right, and it has nothing to do with your demure and nubile fellow worker. You have come back and discovered you’re in a battle for existence with your closest friend, and you have chosen to tell me not one word about it!