I was searching. My results were mediocre, but I did have the feeling I had more in me then was coming out. On one side I felt unsure about a lot of things, but on the other side I thought 'If I think this through well there's got to be more to me then my results are showing'. The more confident I got about that the more I believed in myself, and the more strong in this I became, and the less I cared about other peoples opinion. In the beginning I cared more about other peoples opinion and others had more influince on me, but deep within myself this little voice said that there was something different then there was coming out of me right now. When this happened I started to follow my own direction more and more, becoming sort of an enfant terrible . Not to oppose to my teachers, but because I wanted to do my own thing.