To be strict or not to be strict, that is the question – in fact, it’s the number-one question among child-rearing and education authorities, among teachers and, of course, parents. It’s doubtful that there is a parent who hasn’t at one time or another agonized over this. There is a widespread uncertainty on how to be at home (or how to come across in the classroom) – tough or soft, to be a strict disciplinarian or a permissivist. Have you noticed, however, that you seldom hear a parent or teacher admit “I am authoritarian” or “I am permissive”? These are terms reserved for those with whom you disagree.
The question, whether to be strict or lenient, never ceases to be debated in books and articles, or at conferences and conventions. Dr. Gordon points out that this question is what social scientists call a “pseudo problem” and how it also is a clear case of “either-or thinking”. Let’s take a look at what he means by that.