Youngjae shut the door behind himself before leaning back and sliding down, his eyes filling with tears. He tried to blink them away, to rub them away but no matter what he did, they just kept coming and he eventually gave up fighting it, placing his hand over his aching heart. He'd gotten hurt before, been shot, but nothing hurt as much as this did. No other pain even compared to this agony. He hated himself for letting down his father, for taking Himchan down with him, for betraying Daehyun – how much more could he possibly stand?
I don't want to feel like this anymore. He tried to remember the last time he was truly, honestly, completely happy and his mind took him back to the day he'd been accepted into the college of his dreams, to study criminal investigation. Youngjae let out a bitter laugh at that, feeling so utterly stupid and foolish. All he'd ever wanted was to do good, to make his family proud of him – to feel proud of himself.
Youngjae knew he could still get Daehyun behind bars – it was still possible to tell someone that the drug lord kept visiting his apartment. It was possible to kill Daehyun too, he could. There had been a gun underneath his pillow when Daehyun was ing him. He could have killed him too.
He could have.
But, he didn't and he never would.
Youngjae wondered if his ex-lover felt the same way. They could kill each other, it would just be so ing easy to end things but in the same way they couldn't. He feels the same way, doesn't he? The man pulled his knees to his chest, hiding his face behind them. Torment was worse than death, it was so much more worse feeling this agony than dying. Did I make him hurt like this?
The phone in his pants' pocket vibrated and then he shifted, snatching it up. Without looking at it, he answered the call and placed the phone against his ear. “Himchan, I'm fine.” He said in an irritated voice. He just needed to be alone right now -
“How much do you love your brother?”
The phone slipped from his hand, falling onto the floor with a soft thud. No. No. He reached out to pick it back up with shaking hands. “Yongguk.” He breathed.
“He's a pretty lil thing.”
“Don't hurt him-” Youngjae couldn't hide the panic in his voice. No, no, no. “Please don't hurt him.”
“Junhong.” The man called out in a singsong voice. “Say 'hi' to your brother.” He heard Junhong's voice, a soft 'help me, they have a bomb, i'm scared-' reaching his ears and Youngjae felt like screaming. Was he hurt? Did they hurt him already? Were they killing him? Every scenario was flying through his mind and he felt like he'd throw up.
“Relax, Youngjae.” Yongguk chuckled and Youngjae wanted to kill him, he wanted to kill both him and Daehyun. “Boss says he'll give you an hour to get to your precious little brother before we kill him.”
“Where are you?” He hurriedly stood up, his legs shaking so hard he had to brace himself against the door. “Where are you?!” He repeated, desperation more apparent in his voice. “Please don't hurt him.” Youngjae weakly pleaded. “God, please don't hurt him.”
“Didn't I already say you have an hour until we kill him?”
“How can I trust you?” The younger man hissed.
There was a silence on the other end and then he heard Yongguk let out a loud sigh. “This is ing stupid.” Youngjae furrowed his brows in confusion and then there was a click.
“Hello? Hello?!” The younger man repeated until he realized Yongguk had ended the call.