Views of child:
Sirr Bay Htoo, the BID child
When asked initially, he said that his father is Shar Tha and her mother is Quee Dee (caregiver uncle and aunt). He said that he likes to go to school with his siblings (cousins) at Thai border police school and he came back home once a week with them. He is staying at boarding house during weekdays and he is fine to stay there too. He likes his school and he also has many friends there as well. He said that most of the students there are Karen but they speak Thai. When asked again whether he knew his biological parents’ name, he said that he does not know his father’s name because he died when he was young and he does not also know the real name of the mother and he just called her ‘little aunt’(the cousins call the mother ‘little aunt’). He said that he used to go to the mother’s house but he is not happy at their house and the mother’s husband also has children and he never had close relationship with them. He said that the mother came to his house sometimes to get some food but she never talked to him and he was not interested in her as well. He said that he does not love the mother when asked. He does not also love or interested in his half-siblings as well. The step father also did not talk to him or take any interest in him as well when he saw him. He mentioned that at home, he is more attached to Bee Aeh Aeh (the daughter of the caregivers) and they used to play together and they are at the same school as well. He however shared the same bed with his mother (the aunt) at night because he dearly loves her. He said that if he would not be able to resettle and left behind, he would not stay with anyone and he would not go and stay with the mother as well because she never took care of him in his life. He would not also stay with the paternal uncle Tun Aye because he never had close relationship with them. He mentioned that he loves everyone in his current family but he loves more of the aunt at home and he never stayed away from her whenever he was at home. He mentioned that he would go and study at the resettlement country because he heard that it is a good country.
Views of Family and close relationships:
Views of Quee Dee, the caregiver /maternal aunt
She stated that she just converted to Christianity but her husband has not. She mentioned that the mother of the BID child is staying in the camp with her new family and the mother has two children with her current husband. The father Hser Pi died 5 years ago and the people working together with him at fishing boat sent a message to his father (paternal grandfather) who also already passed away in 2014. She stated that the mother was separated from the father when the child was 8 months old and the mother left the child with the maternal uncle/aunt’s family when she went out to work. The father had not gone to work for fishing boat yet at that time. The father liked gambling and he also used to abuse the mother that she witnessed the nail scratches marks at the neck of the mother before. The mother did not leave the child with the paternal relatives because she might feel more comfortable leaving the child with them. At that time, they did not have a son and they loved the child very much.
She stated that the child has always stayed with her since the mother left him with her. The child never went to stay with the mother after she came back to stay in the camp and the mother also never asked the child to stay with her. Although the child knew the mother as his biological mother but he just refers her as ‘little aunt’ the same way her children are calling the mother. The child however calls her and her husband ‘mother and father’. The child also considers her children as his siblings and he is more attached to Bee Aeh Aeh at home. When they asked the child to visit the mother, he did not want to go but he just went one time to drop the vegetables when she asked him. He was not also interested in his half siblings and he never asked about them. The mother also did not try to meet or talk to the child when she sometimes came to get some food at her house.
She mentioned that after the mother went out when the child was 8 months old, she never came back or contacted during those times. Initially when the mother left the child, he was sick and they had to carefully and closely attend him. Her husband also worked so hard to get the good food for the child although he suffered pile problem at that time. They raised him among difficulties but they love him very much and the child is more attached to her at home and he always shared the bed with her. She said that the mother came back when the child was 3 years old and she stayed in the same house with them but she did not appear to care much about the child and the child also did not approach her. The mother then went out again to work and at that time, she sent some money to support the child. The mother came back again when the child was 4 years old and stayed just more than a month and left again. The mother later came back with her current husband she met outside. The step father also had children from his previous marriage staying with him and he also has a physical problem with one leg amputated.
Since the child never stayed close to the mother, he lost interest and attachment with her and when they ask him whether he would like to go and stay with the mother, he became very sad. The child also told her that if he could not be able to go with them, he would not stay with the mother as well. She therefore worried for the life of the child if he was left behind. She and her husband are also thinking that they would not have the courage to be resettled without the child as well.
The child is now studying at border police school together with her 3 elder children and he is now studying Pau4. They are staying at boarding house and they came back once a week. She mentioned that they do not have to pay for the school and the children like to study there. Her husband is also working outside at Kway Klum and he came back once a week and his health is also getting better without any complain. She said that the child is healthy and she loves him well although she has her own son now and her husband also loves the child very much.
Shar Tha, the caregiver/maternal uncle
He stated that he loves the child as his own child equally with his biological children and he is going to take full responsibility for the child if they are resettled. He does not want to leave him because he does not think the mother is willing or able to take care of him. The mother is now living with her new family and he worries that the child might not be treated well by the step family members if he is left with them and they also do not have close relationship with the child as well. The mother has now young children with her current husband and the children of the father from his previous marriage are also staying with them. He therefore said that since the child never stayed with the mother and the mother never approached her son, it will be difficult for the child and his future if he had to stay with the mother.
Toe Day Htoo, the mother
She mentioned that her current husband is Tee Bo and he is a camp resident and they met outside the camp. She also mentioned that Tee Bo’s left leg was amputated after he stepped on landmine about 7 years ago. They together have 2 children and her husband had 3 children from his previous marriage and two of them; Naw Hae Nyaw and Saw Pay Say are staying with them while Eh Hser Htee is staying outside with his relative.
Regarding to the BID child, she mentioned that previously, she never had good relationship with the father and when they were separated when the child was 8 months old, she left the child with his current caregivers and she left to work. Since she left, she cut the tie with the child since she was very angry with the father. Although she came back to the camp sometimes before, she did not feel much attachment towards the child and the child also did not approach her. The child later refers her as ‘little aunt’ and he calls the caregiver ‘mother’ and ‘father’.
She mentioned that the father was later heard that he was killed while working on a fishing boat. During that time, she already cohabited with her partner Suk Jit (the father of Saw Hser Nay Htoo). After she separated with Suk Jit, she met her current husband Tee Bo outside the camp but they later came back to stay in the camp and their children were born in the camp.
She stated that since her relationship with the child became so distant, they almost had none emotional attachment to each other. The child had no intention to visit her and he was not also interested in his half-siblings. The child however is very attached to his current family and he always looked for them if one of them were out of his sight. She also said that sometimes, although she visited the house of caregiver and met the child, she did not have any emotion to approach and talk to him and the child also did not care about her presence. She said that at the moment since she has to give more attention to her current family, she is not willing to take the child back to her since the child is already comfortably living with his family and he is also well loved by them. When asked, she said that the child can stay with her if he would not be able to resettle with the caregiver but the child told her that he would kill himself if he was left behind by them. She also mentioned that she cannot guarantee that she would be able to take full responsibility and she is also not sure about her husband is willing to accept the child since he has his own children to care more about. Her husband is currently working outside and came back sometimes so that her sister in law who is staying in the camp helped taking care of her step children sometimes when she was busy.
She therefore mentioned that