I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything."
(Steven Wright)
"I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out."
(Steven Wright)
"1492. The teachers told the children that this was when their continent was discovered by human beings. Actually, millions of human beings were already living full and imaginative lives on the continent in 1492. That was simply the year in which sea pirates began to cheat and rob and kill them."
(Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Breakfast of Champions, 1973)
"I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator."
(Steven Wright)