Hi Jip,
I hope you are well and also that your parents are well.
I think it is important that I am open with you. You seem like such a lovely person and I would really like to get to know you better, but Thailand seems so very far away and that distance creates difficulties. I know Thailand must be a very beautiful country, but at the moment I seem to have a block about traveling very far away. It is difficult to explain. I have been as far as India in the past, but have not been away from Europe for a long time.
It is very difficult to know what another person feels or is thinking and I don't want to raise expectations in you.
It is important for me to express these things to you.
Maybe we should still keep in contact as I enjoy getting your e mails and perhaps accept the situation as it is now. I understand though if you would not want to continue writing.
I more and more feel that there is so much wisdom in Buddhism. Thoughts are always trying to fill the gap and they take you away from the moment. To let those thoughts go and be in the moment.
Bless you.