Meeting the Needs of Both the Patient & Family
There are times when the desire or wish of your patient’s family may be in
direct conflict of your patients greater good. Finding ways to meet the needs/
desires of family members while also maintaining the safety and comfort of
the patient can be challenging at times, but ultimately healing.
I received my now daily call from the dad of a 9-year-old terminally ill
cancer patient we were treating in the outpatient oncology clinic. He called
in for support and to let us know how she was doing. He told me she was
sad and moving was painful. She was basically bed bound at this point in her
journey. He wanted to cheer her up, and he had this great idea. He told me
he wanted to take her to the beach. She loved the beach, and he felt it would
bring her joy and allow her one last visit to the ocean she adored so much. It
was mid-February and bitterly cold that day in New Jersey. I knew the beach
was not feasible and would cause her more discomfort in the travel than joy.
I explored alternatives they could do as a family to “bring the beach to her.”
He felt better after this talk, though he still wished she could see the ocean
once more. So he created a way to bring the beach to her. Natalie loved her
bedside beach, and it gave her a tactile experience she could participate in at
that point in her end-of-life journey.
At Natalie’s funeral alongside the casket was her “beach.” Her dad had
enlisted the help of their three other children and created a fun sand box
with shells and small toys from their adventures to the beach in the past. It
reminded them all of happier times as they honored Natalie’s journey.