Mani: May I come in, please?
Teacher: Sure, Mani. Come in, and take a seat. I’ve heard that you passed the interview to join the Asian Student Exchange Program. Congratulations!
Mani: Thank you. But I’m worried a little bit about that because I have to travel to many countries in the region. However, I only know a little about our neighbouring countries. I’m afraid I might make some mistakes in social manners. Could you please give me some advice?
Teacher: Well, they’re not difficult to learn. 1. It is advisable to think about customs, social etiquette, or situations you might experience. For example, the first situation you will encounter is that you have to greet people when you meet them, and that is the way to make a good first impression.
Mani: I see. What are the differences in greetings among the Asian countries?
Teacher: In Thailand and Lao, 2. it is impressive to see people wai, bowing with your palms placed together in front of you. If you are in Cambodia, handshakes are acceptable.
Mani: That’s interesting. I think the first country I’ll visit is Brunei. How can I greet people in Brunei?
Teacher: A handshake is common, but it tends to be light. Be careful not to grip too firmly as 3.this is considered as aggressiveBruneian men often raise their hands to the heart after shaking hands. People in many Muslim countries do the same thing. In Malaysia and Indonesia, younger men may shake hands with foreign women, but 4.'Salaam' is not recommended
Mani Salaam, what is that?
Teacher: 5.It is a typical way of greeting performed by bowing the head, especially for men.
Mani I see. What else should I be careful of?
Teacher: Hmm, Let me think…Oh! In case you want to give someone a gift, 6.flowers are usually prohibited in many situations. But in the Philippines, you should avoid giving chrysanthemums and white lilies.
Mani: Why?.
Teacher: Well, those flowers are typically used for funerals. Generally speaking 7. it would be appropriate to give someone candy or a snack instead.
Mani: I see. What about in Malaysia?
Teacher: In Malaysia, as well as other Muslim countries, never give alcohol because 8.it is not permitted unless you are certain the recipient drinks.
Mani: That's good to know.
Teacher: In the Philippines, if Filipinos offer you food or drink, you should always accept the offer. If you turn down the offer of hospitality, the person offering would lose face.
Mani: Lose face?
Teacher: Actually, the concepts of losing face, as well as saving face, are important in many countries around the world, but they are quite prevalent in many Asian countries.
Mani: So what do losing face and saving face mean?
Teacher: Causing someone to "lose face" is to lower their esteem in the eyes of their peers, while “saving face” raises their self-worth. In the West people tend to appreciate people who are “frank and honest”, but the opposite often holds true in Asia. Thus, 9.it is appreciated if you are aware of those sensitive customs and manners of the different countries.
Mani: Well, there are always several sensitive things — dos and don’ts — in each country’s customs.
Teacher: That’s true, but remember this magic saying, ‘When in Rome, do as the Romans do. 10.It is suggestedto notice and learn from people around you. I believe you will do fine.
Mani: I will try. Thank you very much for your advice.