When I came to the US, for a long time I was also guilty of broad generalizations about those born in the US. While I have not conquered this disagreeable human inclination, I feel I am beginning to see the way. Often, observations on cultural differences are based on our own weakness and reflect our inability to connect with that culture. As a young man I found myself in an almost entirely Anglo-Saxon community in New Canaan, Connecticut. I remember that on several occasions I felt my personal space was being invaded and wondered how Anglo-Saxon men could stand being so close to each other. After all these years, I still feel uncomfortable sitting as close to other men as often dictated by chair arrangements in the US. I am not the exception that proves the rule. Other foreign-born immigrants from México and Iran have mentioned feeling the same way.
Jill Heiken, an HRnet correspondent, explained her learning process this way: "I've taught ESL to many many different nationalities and lived in rooming situations with people from all nations and lived in Japan and Cambodia... it took me a long time not to generalize and now when I hear others doing so... I know they are just beginning to 'wade in the river,' so to speak, of intercultural relations."
I now live in California and have been married for over 20 years to a Californian (of Northern European descent). It is sort of funny because my wife now realizes that I need to have eye contact while we talk. If she is reading, she has learned that I stop talking if I don't have eye contact with her. I have had several people tell me, when I stop talking because I no longer have eye contact, "Keep talking, I'm listening." My kids still give me a bad time about the year my mother came to visit and we drove to Yosemite National Park. They were all panicked because I kept looking at my mother as I drove. They felt I was not looking at the road enough and thought we would drive off the mountain. I have a very high need for eye contact.
Besides being a native Chilean, I have met, taught, been taught, roomed with, studied with, worked for, worked with, been supervised by, supervised, and been friends with Hispanics from almost every Spanish-speaking country in the world. I have interviewed and done research among hundreds of Hispanic farm workers and have noticed no difficulties with poor eye contact or invasion of personal space. Nor have I ever had difficulties in these areas with people from other nations or cultures.