Law Of Reciprocity
Persuasion by reciprocation is based on the law of reciprocity. It’s considered by many to be the most powerful law of human nature. Basically, it states that,
“If you do something nice for me I’ll do something nice for you. I feel obligated to reciprocate.”
For example, if we go out to lunch and I pick up the bill, you almost always offer to pay for it next time. Next time we go out to lunch, you insist on paying for the bill.
There are different types of reciprocation which I will explain below.
Emotional Reciprocation
Emotional reciprocation is where you make people feel good. Saying things like,
“Thank you, it’s a pleasure to meet you, I know how busy you are.”
“Thank you for your time.”
“This is a beautiful company or a great opportunity to speak to you.”
Whenever you say anything that causes people to feel better about themselves, they have a deep unconscious need to reciprocate.
Look For Opportunities To Do Things For Others
The starting point of the law of reciprocity is to do things for others. Something as simple as opening in the door for someone, or getting someone a cup of coffee is a very powerful technique that you can use to cause people to like you and to feel obligated to you.
Using The Word “Fair”
Pushing the fairness button in a negotiation can also give you leverage. Use the word “fair” over and over again. They have found that in television debates, especially in politics, that the politician who uses the word fair when they say things like,
“That’s not a fair interpretation.”
“That’s not a fair way to describe the situation.”
“People aren’t paying their fair share.”
The word fair triggers an emotional feeling to be even, that you should back off rather than be unfair to someone.
Remember how children are always saying, “That’s not fair! That’s not fair!” It’s because of how strong the word is.