Leader: Good morning everybody. Today we are going to discuss about The low birth rate.Okay, we are ready to start?
All: Yes.
Leader: After you read this essay do you think this essay can be solve the problem of low birth rate it?
A: After I read this essay. In my opinion,this essay,it is goods for describes the problem and solutions s of the low birth rate.
Leader: Um… that right. B, what do you think about the topic?
B: This topic is quite interesting, but the content is not mentioned in the topic. So, I think this essay is not complete.
C: I agree with you.
D: I disagree with you. I think this topic is too broad because the content of the problem only in Asia.
Leader:Okay. E, what do you think about this essay?
E: I think this essay can tell us about the world situation.
B: Oh! That’s a good idea.
Leader: How do you think this essay?
A: I think a main topic of this Paragraph is a children’s education expense effect and birth rate in society.
B: But I think the high price for people who want to marry is becoming rapidly lower may is a main topic.
E: The writer should use signal words to connect the ideas in the same group. For example, the writer uses “first” to connect the idea thus, another connector should be “second”
D: The ideas are rather agreeable because the writer uses some transition like also result from, and next.
C: I think so
Leader: Could we move on the concluding sentence?
C: In my opinion, there is concluding sentence quite clear.
D: I agree with you
B: Do we all agree?
All: Yes
Leader: A, Would you like to give us your opinion about language?
A: I think overall is ok. The languages is easy to understand.
B: But, I think this essay is not complete, because there is no concluding paragraph.
D: And also have to mention about the effect.
C: So, we have decided that this paragraph is a good one, but writer should highlight the paragraph, mention about effects, correct the grammar, and use signal words.