I didn't know how talented you are. Don't let your families religiousity make you feel like an outcast. It was their decision except for your sister with long hair, who you can be close to if you choose to. She is also very talented with her writing. Why not try to get closer to her? As a author and ADHD specialist, I have always been lonely. the smoking, well that is another matter. I don't know what else you could replace it with. If you care to save your lungs that is. Kerin Adams