Parenting in the Digital Age
Obviously, much of what children learn about computers starts at home. Parents innocently hand over an iPad to a child without thinking of the consequences. What happens when a parent quickly learns that a child prefers to spend all of his time online and doesn’t learn to read or play with other children? Parents are essential in helping children form healthy Internet behaviors.
Parents need to look at their own Internet use and model healthy appropriate behavior. If you are always online and using your mobile devices, a child will think this is normal. A parent can also look for these signs of a serious addiction (it could be he or she):
1. Internet usage interferes with your child’s normal everyday activities such as getting ready for school, coming to family dinner or attending sports practices.
2. He doesn’t go to bed when he normally would and appears exhausted in the morning.
3. He sneaks online or lies about the extent of Internet use.
3. He can’t focus on homework long enough to finish an assignment without logging on to the computer or tablet for recreational use (e.g., social media, gaming).
4. If you try to cut down his Internet time, he becomes belligerent and abnormally irritated or violent.
5. He’s lost any interest in things that used to excite him, such as hanging out with friends or playing in sports. To figure out if your teen’s Internet usage is a problem or not, take the Parent-Child Internet Addiction Test.
Many parents get angry when they see the signs of Internet addiction in their child and take the computer away as a form of punishment. Others become frightened and force their child to quit cold turkey, believing that is the only way to get rid of the problem. Both approaches invite trouble– your child will internalize the message that they are bad; they will look at you as the enemy instead of an ally; and they will suffer real withdrawal symptoms of nervousness, anger, and irritability. Instead, work with your child to establish clear boundaries for limited Internet usage. Allow perhaps an hour per night after homework, with a few extra weekend hours. Stick to your rules and remember that you’re not simply trying to control him or her – you are working to free them of a psychological dependence.