its just that at some point Kade and other kids around would be grown and venture out on their own in search of their lifes adventure,the real tragedy wont be me living alone now but it would be me living alone at old age, no one to grow old with and cherish like i saw that old couple cherish one another. so i decided to give love a chance and open myself once more with the hopes that i do not end up hurt or unhappy and now here i am writing you.