She nodded her head and looked down. ‘How long did it last?’
Min Ho noticed that her voice fell slightly in that question. ‘A few months,’ he said carefully. ‘We saw each other here and there, but our schedules were really hectic, we couldn’t even meet up a lot. Eventually, we realized we were better off as friends.’
Shin Hye didn’t say anything. Min Ho smacked his lips and continued. ‘All those days we didn’t see each other, I don’t know… we just drifted apart, I guess. I think we both found out that the feelings were mostly because of the drama. It was tough and we had to rely on each other a lot. But at the end of the day, there wasn't enough there to keep so... yeah. We broke up.’
Shin Hye looked up at Min Ho’s face, her eyes looking forlorn. ‘Do you think that will happen to us?’
‘What? No, no! Of course not,’ Min Ho’s eyebrows creased as he let go of Shin Hye’s hand. ‘How can you ask that? You know this is different.’
She kept her eyes on his. ‘That’s just it, I don’t know. It’s funny, but the fact that you can talk about your relationship with her as if it was nothing makes me even more anxious. Like, any day now, maybe you’ll realize that what you feel for me was also because of the drama.’
‘Shin Hye, are you hearing yourself?’ Min Ho’s voice was raised now. ‘I met your parents, you met mine. I’m with you whenever I can. We’ve seen each other in the past month more times than I met Min Young in the time that we were dating. I can’t believe you’re still doubting if this is real or not,’ he stood up and ran his hand through his hair. He paced for a while, before turning to Shin Hye again. ‘Did you think I was lying when I said I love you?’
Shin Hye stood up, her eyes wide. ‘No, no, but…’ She shook her head.
‘But what? You think I said that just so I can stay the night?’ Min Ho scowled.
‘OPPA! You know that’s not what I meant!’ Shin Hye took a step forward and put a hand around his arm. ‘I’m just really, really scared. Everything you said about her – they seemed like the same things that happened to us. I don’t think I can handle it if one day you just leave.’
He looked down at the hand that held his arm. He clenched his jaw and tried to steady himself. When he looked up at Shin Hye again, he realized he wasn’t angry. He felt dejected. ‘Don’t you trust me?’ He asked, his voice unstable. Did I not show you enough for you to know that I’m in this for the long run? What more do I need to do for you to understand that I can never leave you?
‘I trust you,’ Shin Hye put another hand on the same arm. ‘I really do, believe me. But there are times when I get so scared. Not because I don’t trust your feelings, but because sometimes, I think… I think I feel too much. It’s overwhelming. When I don’t see you, my heart hurts. I think about you all the time. I couldn’t imagine not being with you anymore. I’m afraid that one day, when this is over, I wouldn’t be able to take it.’
Min Ho noticed that Shin Hye’s eyes were starting to water. He resisted the urge to touch her cheek and hug her tight. There were still some things he needed to say, and she needed to hear.
‘Don’t you think that’s how I feel, too?’ He asked, a hint of pain in his voice. ‘But it’s useless to think about fears like that when we have our whole lives ahead of us. You said so yourself, we have to be brave. It’s not enough to be brave when we have to defend this relationship from the rest of the world. You have to be brave enough to give me all of you, despite those fears. You say you trust me, but in the same breath, say that you’re afraid that this could be over? Have I not done enough to show you that I would never hurt you like that?’
Tears were starting to fall now on her face now. ‘Anya, oppa, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.’ Shin Hye stepped forward and hugged his waist. She leaned her head on his chest. ‘I’m sorry.’ She was sobbing now.
Min Ho put one arm around her waist and the other at the back of her head. ‘Shin Hye, I love you. So much. But you have to believe it.’
‘I believe you,’ she replied, her words muffled as she tried to control her sobs.
Min ho held her like that for a while, rocking her from side to side before letting her go. He scanned her face that was now puffy from crying. ‘I have to go,’ he said softly.
Shin Hye’s expression turned worried. ‘Oppa, if you’re still mad…’
‘I’m not,’ he cut her off. ‘I have to go get ready for rehearsals.’
She bit her lip, stopping another bout of tears. ‘Are you sure you’re not mad?’
He smiled and cupped her face with his hands. He gave her a kiss on the forehead. ‘How can I be mad at you?’
‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things…’ her voice trembled.
‘It’s okay. I’m sorry I raised my voice,’ his gaze stayed on her face, his fingers lingering on her cheeks. ‘I wish I could stay and make out after this fight, but I really have to go.’ He grabbed his phone from the coffee table and walked to the door. He got his coat from the rack and put it on hastily. Shin Hye walked hesitantly toward him. Min Ho noticed she was still wiping some tears. He sighed. ‘Come here,’ he opened his arms and motioned for Shin Hye to approach him.
She advanced slowly, looking down, until she was within hugging range. Min Ho wrapped his arms around her tightly. ‘Aigoo, my baby.’
Shin Hye melted into his embrace the moment he said that. ‘Drive safely,’ she told him.
‘I will,’ Min Ho replied and let her go. He turned to the door and stepped out. As he closed it, he heard Shin Hye say ‘I love you’ faintly.
He sighed and walked fast, his head down to make sure no one could recognize him. He wondered why he was still feeling a bit uneasy after leaving Shin Hye. Am I still mad? He couldn’t afford to be mad at her like that, but what she said still stung. It wasn’t so much the fact that she didn’t trust him, but that she thought they could end up like him and Park Min Young. He shook his head and tried to forget it. Maybe it’s because she didn’t know what happened between us. I shouldn’t be mad at her for that.
When he reached his car, he opened the door right away. He was about to leave when he looked at his watch. There were still two hours left. Why did he leave so soon? He hit the driving wheel with both his hands before leaning his head on it. He contemplated on running back to Shin Hye’s apartment, but something kept him in the car. He hated that feeling. After a few minutes of being idle, he turned on the ignition.
As soon as the door closed, Shin Hye broke down, letting go of the tears she was holding back. She knew that Min Ho wasn't completely okay yet. If he was, he'd have stayed a bit longer. It was stupid of her to bring all that up, especially in a conversation about her ex-girlfriend. She cursed herself for not thinking things through.
She walked to the couch as she wiped her tears with her hands and looked at her phone. She wanted to call him and say sorry again; then maybe he'd come back up. She was sure he was still on his way to his car, or still sitting in his car. Either way, he'd still be somewhere near where he could easily come back to her. She was scared of not seeing him before she left for Malaysia. She was scared that things would be different when she came back.
She resisted that urge and shook her head. There she went again with those stupid fears. I'm so hopeless, she thought. If I were oppa, I'd be mad at me, too. She decided to give him space. Maybe he needed time to cool off. She went to the kitchen and cleaned up instead, hoping a little work will help her take her mind off things. She could drive to the agency and get some work done, too.
When she went back to her room, her eyes immediately fell onto the bed. She could still imagine Min Ho sleeping there. She leaned on the door frame and sighed. When she woke up that morning, she spent a few minutes just looking at him, and wondering how anyone can look so perfect. She'd been so happy; she wondered how that beautiful morning can so suddenly turn around. It's because of you, babo, she scolded herself. She was about to enter the bathroom when she heard her doorbell.
Her heart skipped a beat. It's him. He came back. She smiled.
She quickly rushed outside her room and headed to the entrance of her apartment. As soon as she opened the door, she blurted out, 'Oppa!' with a wide smile on her face.
That smile quickly faded when the person who was looking back at her wasn't Lee Min Ho.
'What are you doing here?' She asked, puzzled.
'Can I come in?' He replied, smiling.
-----------------------
First of all, I have to apologize for not updating in so long. If you've read my blog post, then you'll know that I was actually away on a trip for a week. It wasn't a vacation and was more like a work trip that was mentally and physically stressful. So much so that when I came back, I fell sick. :( So, I hope you forgive me if I fell short on my promise to update as fast as I could.
Secondly, I'm sorry that the chapter that met you after a week long absence isn't a cute one, and in fact, contained their first real fight. It just happened that way, hehehe. Every story needs a conflict, yeah?
Thirdly, I hazzz a little experiment. Tell me who you think is on the door. It could range from anybody who's already been mentioned in this story, to someone unexpected. It could be a rival for Shin Hye's heart or just a friend. You never know, I might change the visitor after I read your comments. HAHA.
She nodded her head and looked down. ‘How long did it last?’
Min Ho noticed that her voice fell slightly in that question. ‘A few months,’ he said carefully. ‘We saw each other here and there, but our schedules were really hectic, we couldn’t even meet up a lot. Eventually, we realized we were better off as friends.’
Shin Hye didn’t say anything. Min Ho smacked his lips and continued. ‘All those days we didn’t see each other, I don’t know… we just drifted apart, I guess. I think we both found out that the feelings were mostly because of the drama. It was tough and we had to rely on each other a lot. But at the end of the day, there wasn't enough there to keep so... yeah. We broke up.’
Shin Hye looked up at Min Ho’s face, her eyes looking forlorn. ‘Do you think that will happen to us?’
‘What? No, no! Of course not,’ Min Ho’s eyebrows creased as he let go of Shin Hye’s hand. ‘How can you ask that? You know this is different.’
She kept her eyes on his. ‘That’s just it, I don’t know. It’s funny, but the fact that you can talk about your relationship with her as if it was nothing makes me even more anxious. Like, any day now, maybe you’ll realize that what you feel for me was also because of the drama.’
‘Shin Hye, are you hearing yourself?’ Min Ho’s voice was raised now. ‘I met your parents, you met mine. I’m with you whenever I can. We’ve seen each other in the past month more times than I met Min Young in the time that we were dating. I can’t believe you’re still doubting if this is real or not,’ he stood up and ran his hand through his hair. He paced for a while, before turning to Shin Hye again. ‘Did you think I was lying when I said I love you?’
Shin Hye stood up, her eyes wide. ‘No, no, but…’ She shook her head.
‘But what? You think I said that just so I can stay the night?’ Min Ho scowled.
‘OPPA! You know that’s not what I meant!’ Shin Hye took a step forward and put a hand around his arm. ‘I’m just really, really scared. Everything you said about her – they seemed like the same things that happened to us. I don’t think I can handle it if one day you just leave.’
He looked down at the hand that held his arm. He clenched his jaw and tried to steady himself. When he looked up at Shin Hye again, he realized he wasn’t angry. He felt dejected. ‘Don’t you trust me?’ He asked, his voice unstable. Did I not show you enough for you to know that I’m in this for the long run? What more do I need to do for you to understand that I can never leave you?
‘I trust you,’ Shin Hye put another hand on the same arm. ‘I really do, believe me. But there are times when I get so scared. Not because I don’t trust your feelings, but because sometimes, I think… I think I feel too much. It’s overwhelming. When I don’t see you, my heart hurts. I think about you all the time. I couldn’t imagine not being with you anymore. I’m afraid that one day, when this is over, I wouldn’t be able to take it.’
Min Ho noticed that Shin Hye’s eyes were starting to water. He resisted the urge to touch her cheek and hug her tight. There were still some things he needed to say, and she needed to hear.
‘Don’t you think that’s how I feel, too?’ He asked, a hint of pain in his voice. ‘But it’s useless to think about fears like that when we have our whole lives ahead of us. You said so yourself, we have to be brave. It’s not enough to be brave when we have to defend this relationship from the rest of the world. You have to be brave enough to give me all of you, despite those fears. You say you trust me, but in the same breath, say that you’re afraid that this could be over? Have I not done enough to show you that I would never hurt you like that?’
Tears were starting to fall now on her face now. ‘Anya, oppa, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.’ Shin Hye stepped forward and hugged his waist. She leaned her head on his chest. ‘I’m sorry.’ She was sobbing now.
Min Ho put one arm around her waist and the other at the back of her head. ‘Shin Hye, I love you. So much. But you have to believe it.’
‘I believe you,’ she replied, her words muffled as she tried to control her sobs.
Min ho held her like that for a while, rocking her from side to side before letting her go. He scanned her face that was now puffy from crying. ‘I have to go,’ he said softly.
Shin Hye’s expression turned worried. ‘Oppa, if you’re still mad…’
‘I’m not,’ he cut her off. ‘I have to go get ready for rehearsals.’
She bit her lip, stopping another bout of tears. ‘Are you sure you’re not mad?’
He smiled and cupped her face with his hands. He gave her a kiss on the forehead. ‘How can I be mad at you?’
‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things…’ her voice trembled.
‘It’s okay. I’m sorry I raised my voice,’ his gaze stayed on her face, his fingers lingering on her cheeks. ‘I wish I could stay and make out after this fight, but I really have to go.’ He grabbed his phone from the coffee table and walked to the door. He got his coat from the rack and put it on hastily. Shin Hye walked hesitantly toward him. Min Ho noticed she was still wiping some tears. He sighed. ‘Come here,’ he opened his arms and motioned for Shin Hye to approach him.
She advanced slowly, looking down, until she was within hugging range. Min Ho wrapped his arms around her tightly. ‘Aigoo, my baby.’
Shin Hye melted into his embrace the moment he said that. ‘Drive safely,’ she told him.
‘I will,’ Min Ho replied and let her go. He turned to the door and stepped out. As he closed it, he heard Shin Hye say ‘I love you’ faintly.
He sighed and walked fast, his head down to make sure no one could recognize him. He wondered why he was still feeling a bit uneasy after leaving Shin Hye. Am I still mad? He couldn’t afford to be mad at her like that, but what she said still stung. It wasn’t so much the fact that she didn’t trust him, but that she thought they could end up like him and Park Min Young. He shook his head and tried to forget it. Maybe it’s because she didn’t know what happened between us. I shouldn’t be mad at her for that.
When he reached his car, he opened the door right away. He was about to leave when he looked at his watch. There were still two hours left. Why did he leave so soon? He hit the driving wheel with both his hands before leaning his head on it. He contemplated on running back to Shin Hye’s apartment, but something kept him in the car. He hated that feeling. After a few minutes of being idle, he turned on the ignition.
As soon as the door closed, Shin Hye broke down, letting go of the tears she was holding back. She knew that Min Ho wasn't completely okay yet. If he was, he'd have stayed a bit longer. It was stupid of her to bring all that up, especially in a conversation about her ex-girlfriend. She cursed herself for not thinking things through.
She walked to the couch as she wiped her tears with her hands and looked at her phone. She wanted to call him and say sorry again; then maybe he'd come back up. She was sure he was still on his way to his car, or still sitting in his car. Either way, he'd still be somewhere near where he could easily come back to her. She was scared of not seeing him before she left for Malaysia. She was scared that things would be different when she came back.
She resisted that urge and shook her head. There she went again with those stupid fears. I'm so hopeless, she thought. If I were oppa, I'd be mad at me, too. She decided to give him space. Maybe he needed time to cool off. She went to the kitchen and cleaned up instead, hoping a little work will help her take her mind off things. She could drive to the agency and get some work done, too.
When she went back to her room, her eyes immediately fell onto the bed. She could still imagine Min Ho sleeping there. She leaned on the door frame and sighed. When she woke up that morning, she spent a few minutes just looking at him, and wondering how anyone can look so perfect. She'd been so happy; she wondered how that beautiful morning can so suddenly turn around. It's because of you, babo, she scolded herself. She was about to enter the bathroom when she heard her doorbell.
Her heart skipped a beat. It's him. He came back. She smiled.
She quickly rushed outside her room and headed to the entrance of her apartment. As soon as she opened the door, she blurted out, 'Oppa!' with a wide smile on her face.
That smile quickly faded when the person who was looking back at her wasn't Lee Min Ho.
'What are you doing here?' She asked, puzzled.
'Can I come in?' He replied, smiling.
-----------------------
First of all, I have to apologize for not updating in so long. If you've read my blog post, then you'll know that I was actually away on a trip for a week. It wasn't a vacation and was more like a work trip that was mentally and physically stressful. So much so that when I came back, I fell sick. :( So, I hope you forgive me if I fell short on my promise to update as fast as I could.
Secondly, I'm sorry that the chapter that met you after a week long absence isn't a cute one, and in fact, contained their first real fight. It just happened that way, hehehe. Every story needs a conflict, yeah?
Thirdly, I hazzz a little experiment. Tell me who you think is on the door. It could range from anybody who's already been mentioned in this story, to someone unexpected. It could be a rival for Shin Hye's heart or just a friend. You never know, I might change the visitor after I read your comments. HAHA.
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