You just don’t understand: Women and men in Conversation Deborah Tannen, Ph.D.
tannen analyzes the complex communication styles between me and women and assert that communication between gender is influenced by the following frame of reference.
Premise 1
Men engage the world as individuals participating in a hierarchical social order where one is one-up or one-down.
Premise 2
Women engage the world as individuals participating in a network of connections.
Premise 3
Men need to feel in control about making decisions while women want to discuss decisions and arrive at agreement by consensus.
Premise 4
People are not the same. They are differently placed in a hierarchy while connection create community.
An example would be two people couldn’t have the upper hand; negotiation for status is inherently adversarial.
Premise 5
Metamessages relate information about relations and attitude one has towards another. Metamessages frame the conversation and give the conversation contextual meaning.