You’re a treasure I cherish, all sparkling and bright.
You were touched by Holy and beautiful light;
Like the angels who sing, a heavenly thing;
And you’re Daddy’s Little Girl.
Lyrics from the song “Daddy’s Little Girl” written by Bobby Burke and Horace Gerlach echo sentiments commonly shared among most people. Daddy’s Little Girls are doted on and praised by their fathers; they’re protected, provided for, nurtured and spoiled. There is wonderful value brought to the life of a daughter who was raised by a loving father.
On the contrast are “Daddyless Daughters”—daughters who were raised without their fathers in the household. These girls become women who lack what fathers bring to their daughters lives and are actually somewhat deficient emotionally.
I present five ways that daughters suffer when there is no father in the home:
1) Daddyless Daughters live their formidable years without a covering; without a knight in shining armor to protect them. In most cultures, the father is the head of the home, a covering for his wife and children. Without his covering, a girl/woman is often vulnerable for other men to take advantage of them. They fall prey to males that they come in contact with, in worse cases adults who prey on them emotionally or sexually. Without the threat of a father’s presence, violators see them as an easy target.
2) Most Daddyless Daughters have no example of what a man is supposed to be in the life of a woman; his wife. Therefore their relationships suffer because they are essentially unfamiliar with aspects of healthy male/female relationships. They don’t know how to properly relate to men. Further, they are unaware of what to expect from a loving, nurturing man. Subsequently, they allow themselves to be treated poorly.
3) Daddyless Daughters don’t know what it is to be a wife. The mothers of these ladies didn’t have a husband present to cohabitate with. Therefore the mother was not able to show her daughter how she should treat her future husband. She doesn’t know how to be soft and supportive, because the example she was given was of strife and disrespect. She was taught that her daddy and essentially all men are the enemy because their father opted to leave. They are taught to be independent, tough and to take care of things on their own. Therefore when they marry, they have trouble relinquishing their power to their husbands, allowing him to be the leader of the household.
4) Daddyless Daughters often have poor or compromised relationships with their mothers. When a father leaves, the mother becomes thrust into a role that she was not equipped for. She is now the quasi leader of the household. The family, without its rightful leader is in turmoil. The relationship with their mother also suffers because she is likely hurt and or bitter due to her husband’s departure. She is dealing with her own emotions of being left to raise her children on her own. The mother then fails to give her daughter the tools to fully develop emotionally because she’s busy licking her wounds and trying to recover instead of cultivating their relationship. A close mother/daughter bond cannot exist under these circumstances.
5) Daddyless Daughters lack self-worth because their own father, the first man that a girl loves and adores, didn’t choose to be a constant in their lives. They wonder if any man would. They lack confidence and self-esteem because they are consumed with feelings of unworthiness. Unfortunately, these women find themselves being needy or clingy with men. They tend to tip around on eggshells hoping not to make the wrong move in fear that this man will also leave. Finally, these women end up out of desperation, clinging to men they otherwise wouldn’t have tolerated.
Although these are probably the most common issues that Daddyless Daughters face, this essay is not at all exhaustive, as we are individuals who react to life’s situations differently. The lack of a parent can result in several adverse behaviors in the life of a child and well into adulthood. Prayerfully, one day all men will realize the impact that they have on the lives of their children, particularly their daughters and choose to be responsible…and be a relevant force in their lives. The effects of being raised without a father can curse a family for many generations.