“I want to meet Jue Qing, begging Zen Master Hui Wu to bring me to see him!”
“Since he doesn’t want to see you, why you are insisting to see him.” After he said, he didn’t look at Chu Zhu Yu and turned his back, leaving her.
Insist? Is this called as insist? Chu Zhu Yu dumbfounded looking at herself kneeling. That time… the man who were spoke out loud not letting her to leave his side, but now that man didn’t want to meet her but hiding.
Why heart feels so empty? That kind of indescribable grieved, thereby where it come from?
For her, this is only the matter of open and shut eyes moment, but how could… the world change so fast?
Her eyes so hot, something dripping down. Her ears only heard the shocking maid called out : “My Lady, why are you crying!”
Crying? Is she crying?”
So, only because he didn’t meet her, she even so easier to dropping her tears.
The delicate small body, only in this way, she stood outside the garden, never once she moved.
The maid who next to her was so worried, but also knew that she couldn’t help her. While Liu Shan and the Zhi head of house keeper are hurried arrived, only wishes they could help to insist and persuade Chu Zhu Yu to take a rest to her room.
“Lady Chu, this won’t help and benefit for you to recuperate.” Liu Shan said. Even though he wanted to tell all the matter which kept on his heart to Chu Zhu Yu, but re-thought what the general said to him that night, he wanting to said but finally he swallow it back.
“Yes, if the general sees you in such situation, he will be so worried.” The Xiao head of house keeper straightly said.
Chu Zhu Yu still looking at the only entrance of the garden, “A day he doesn’t meet me, I will stand here a day, if he doesn’t meet me for ten days, I will stand here for ten days, I will wait for him till the days he will meet me.” She only wants an answered, that answer only him who could give her.
“Lady Chu, why you should make things harder… just to think if the general is disappointed you.” Liu Shan took deep breathe.
“So that, let him to come and say it to me…” her head more and more dizzy, her body is exhausted, earlier hard to bear, numb till she might faint at anytime. Chu Zhu Yu struggling hard to support her body by using her nail which pierce into her palm, on this way she will feel the pain and makes herself stay awake.
Her nail piercing into her palm, the fresh blood dripping, slowly it’s spreading all over her palm.
“My Lady, your hand!” the maid who standing next to her just realized the condition, surprised shouted.
Xiao Ren and Liu Shan shocked when they saw the fresh blood were dripping from her hands, they quickly asking someone to take the cotton, even called the doctor.
“Don’t wrap! I still want to feel the hurt, otherwise, I afraid I might faint and won’t wake up.” Chu Zhu Yu calmly said.
“How could we be allowed? If the general knows, he will blame on us!”
“If he really doesn’t care about me, why should he blame on you guys?” at the point of death, even her palm tapped break, but her head even more feel dizzy and intense. Chu Zhu Yu body swayed, her head swayed, she tried harder not to close her eyes. Is the pain still not enough? If she added the pain and ache, will it keep her awake?
“Oh yeah, how could I don’t think of it?” She murmured, on everyone witness, she pull out her hairpin from her hair, then she fiercely stabbed it into her wrist…
Five slender fingers, firmly knead with the finger, the black shadow of figure, don’t know when it has come suddenly just stand beside her, the low tone voice which sounded helplessly : “Why should you injured yourself?”
“General!” all the people in that place kneeling.
Chu Zhu Yu raised her head, she sees his black hair from her pair of eyes, he wears black robe that show how he is thinner than before, his face is pale no pinkish color, his dark circle under his eyes is deeper.
His breathe spreading to her nose, that kind of warmth, she won’t let it go.
“Jue Qing?” She burst out the two words, which actually she is not certain.
“It’s me.” On Xiao Zhi eyesight, he looking at the person who almost faint, the hands covered with blood, and also the swelling and red eyes, at the end still he is the one who hurt her.
She dazing looking at him, looked him so careful, pair of his weary eyes is so perfectly clear.
Jue Qing, will he tell her the answer?
Jue Qing, why you won’t to meet her?
Jue Qing, if you really disappointed her, why at last you still come out?
On the day she unconscious, actually what was happen?
“Why don’t you come and meet me?” she murmured asked.
“I don’t want to.” He closes his eyelids, forcing himself not to have looked at her face. He afraid, once he sees her, it will ruin all his determination.
“And what the reason you don’t want to meet me?”
“Because I’m tired of you already, that’s it.” His voice heard not stabilized, ups and downs and also kind of hesitated, as if speaking in front of stranger.
She clearly understand that he is lying, but her tears still dropping down, dropping… dropping, dropping until it fall on her injured hand, also dropping in his five slender fingers that clutching her wrist. Heart, it as if being pierce by countless needles, so close and numerous of ache, the tears of her pain just blurred her vision.
As if her tears is burned him, he suddenly draw back his hand.
On her ears, he spoke coldly— “If you understand, in the future don’t come here.”
Understand? Yes, she understands, for the beginning she has understood! Chu Zhu Yu staring at Xiao Zhi, open her mouth and slowly by slowly said words by words clearly : “Even though I experienced thousands of misfortune caused by the karma that ripe, waiting till the chance of the cause to encounter and bearing what is deserve of self.”
His tall body suddenly startled, his hands unconsciously changed become fist grip.
Chu Zhu Yu continue said : “You are the person who study Buddhism, this words, you are naturally understand.” It right, that words, was the words that he told her last time, “All is based on the fate, it has cause and effect, today encounter, whether it fortune or misfortune, all are because the past deed, today action and attitude, regardless good or bad, all will be reported afterlife time! Zen Master Hui Wu said, I am your misfortune and you are my important person, so the deed is ripe, because of the past life action, but I still do not want because of this ripen deed, causing today life being lock up and perish. I still want to continue to walk down, sharing that ripen deed together with you for the entire of my life time. Don’t you because of this, telling me those words, do you?”
She crying even harder, “I just believe that time when you told me those words, only on that time, you were looking right into my eyes, so I knew you were not lying.”