Conflict is … inevitable
Wherever we, as human beings, interact, it is inevitable that we will reach some point where what “you” want, need, and expect gets in the way of what “I” (or “we”) want, need, and expect. It happens on the playground, in the neighborhood, at school, at work, at home, in the wider world of public policies and resources, and certainly between nations and nationalities. Pretending that it won’t happen, or hoping that it won’t, will not make it go away. Thinking that if you live long enough you get beyond it is another fantasy. We can, however, get better at responding to conflicts so that they are resolved with barely a ripple of discord. 
I was raised on the standard fairy tales, each ending with that magical statement “And they lived happily ever after.” Really? On the one hand, that sounds like bliss. On the other, it sounds incredibly boring. When I was a teenager, I remember thinking that as soon as I reached twenty-one, life would be a straight shot-I would have it all figured out, and everything would be easy after that. No more conflict, no more trouble. When I got to twenty-one, though, it was a big disappointment. So I raised the number to thirty-surely, by then. Well, thirty came. And I looked to thirty-five. Finally, at about thirty-seven, the light bulb went on : the learning keeps on going from here, until wherever the road ends.
 In her mid-nineties, my grandmother told me, “Life is one adjustment after another.” My first reaction to this was disappointment. Wasn’t there some point we would reach when we could quit? When we would be done and could just sit on the porch and watch the seasons change? Then I saw the excitement and possibility of her wisdom. Life continues to unfold, giving us new challenges, new ways of thinking, and new means of relating to each other.