History of the Holocaust gave me similar problems. We had to write a term paper, and I couldn’t seem to get started. It took me several weeks to choose the topic of Zionism as a movement. What made the Jewish people join together to develop the state of Israel? It took me a while to find the appropriate books in the library. When I found them, they were difficult to understand, and taking notes did not help.
Finally, I used the Reader’s Guide to Periodical Literature to locate magazine articles on the subject. While reading material in lay language, my understanding of the topic improved. I decided to write my paper as if it were a journalistic article written after World War II, using the information in the magazine articles.
Not only was I working academically, but my efforts to meet people became more systematic. I attended meetings and seminars listed on the bulletin board or in the student paper. Structured groups were easier than informal socializing. I liked sitting in a group and listening to the discussion, even when the subject did not interest me. If I wanted to participate, it was helpful to raise my hand and wait to be called on. That solved the worry about timing my comments so they didn’t interrupt anyone.
I approached people who were also new to the meeting, concentrating hard while hearing their names and writing their names later. I greeted people by name the next time I met them. I was wrong much of the time, but people corrected me and I learned some names. At Hillel, the Jewish student group, I found two friends, Debbie and Susan, who were seniors. (All names have been changed to mask the identity of the persons involved.) We ate meals together and sometimes planned programs.
Although my social life was improving, by the middle of the semester, I faced serious academic difficulty. Only one class, mathematics, was going well. My consistent work there was paying off. The other classes were not going as well. My adviser and teacher told me to drop Spanish. This flew in the face of my belief about not giving up, but the alternative was failure, so I dropped the class. Although the research for my paper on Zionism was completed, I tried to write it and no words came. I clearly did not understand most of the material in Mass Movements and Extremism. What could I do? There was no hope for passing the final examination. I could not memorize the material. I gave the matter deep thought.