2) CONFLICT - two or more incompatible motivations or behavioral impulses compete for expression. When faced with multiple motivations or goals, you must chose and this is where the problems/conflict arises.
Studies have indicated that the more conflict a person experiences, the greater the likelihood for anxiety, depression, and physical symptoms. There are 3 major types of conflicts:
2.1) Approach-Approach: a choice must be made between two attractive goals. You may want both, but can only have one. For example, "Since I don't have to work today, should I play basketball or golf? Do I go out for pizza or Chinese food?" Mmmmm...pizza!
This type of conflict is the least demanding and least damaging. You rarely collapse at a restaurant because you can't decide between the lobster and the steak.
2.2) Avoidance-Avoidance: a choice must be made between two unattractive goals. "Caught between a rock and a hard place."
These conflicts are usually very unpleasant and highly stressful.
2.3) Approach-Avoidance: choice must be made to pursue a single goal that has both positive and negative aspects. For example, asking someone on a date. This type of conflict often produces VACILLATION going and back and forth in decision making. Studies have shown that even animals vacillate.
So, if you have a friend who is vacillating over whether to ask someone on a date, you should downplay the negative aspects of possible rejection rather than dwelling on how much fun the date could be if only...