Capacity for Affective Love
A mature person genuinely cares for other people through concrete deeds, not as a duty or simply to feel good. This implies a capacity to empathise with the needs of others (to put ourselves in their shoes), to listen, to understand, to accept, and to respond to them in a responsible way. It is an ability to establish close emotional ties without fear of loss of identity, to develop cooperative relations with others, to engage in joint ventures and join specific groups. This in turn implies skill sharing, mutual trust, tolerance and acceptance of the perceived differences in others. It means having the capacity to sacrifice and to commit ourselves to the other. It is manifested in our ability to get involved and close, without getting engulfed and losing all sense of perspective. Having close relationships of mutual trust frees us to be more real and to let go of the need for pretence. Some candidates may have real issues with trust rooted in past relationships that could leave them hurt or wounded (Champoux, 1998).