Be Neutral, Not Accusatory
When problems arise, don't ask, for example, "“Why did you take Sally's pencil?" This apporach often provokes defensive comebacks such as, "She was mean to me." Instead, ask what happened, opening the way for students to tell their story. Follow up with questions such as "How do you think that made Sally feel?"
Look for the Cause
It's a good idea to notice when students act out, educators advise. Does it happen only when the child is doing math or reading? Identifying when problems occur may help you recognize the reason.
Similarly, it's helpful to figure out what the underlying problem is. "If it's a skill deficit, a kid doesn't know how to behave," says Joseph Ryan, a special education researcher at Clemson University who has worked in schools for disabled children. "If it's a performance deficit, the kid knows what to do but needs motivation."
Establish a Fairness Committee
"Often, a person who is acting out wants to make amends for what they've done,” says Josh Heisler, a teacher at New York City's Vanguard High School. "They won't feel right until they fix the problem."
Heisler's school set up a fairness committee of teachers and students that promotes a restorative approach, rather than a punitive one, to righting wrongs: Instead of directing offenders to the principal's office or threatening suspensions, teachers let them tell their side of the story to the committee and, hopefully, make amends. When the committee convenes, it asks students questions ranging from "What happened?" and "Who else has been affected?" to "What do you need to do now to repair the harm?"
Share Your Experience
What would you add to this list? Do you have specific examples of how you've achieved these goals -- or others? We want to know.