Lean in and work on the problem together. A “difficult” person often behaves that way because she is trying to get something she needs, or is trying to make something happen. She probably thinks the only way she can get her colleagues’ attention is by outwardly showing her anger. But we know from experience that the way to get better service is to be a better customer. And the same goes for getting the help we all want from our colleagues.
Let your colleague know—as subtly as possible—that being upset, angry, or “difficult” is not the best way to get what she needs. You can start by saying, “I care. Help me understand what you are concerned about.” By saying this and then listening, often her anger will fade away. Once your colleague has calmed down, you can say, “Thank you for explaining this to me. Let’s solve this problem together. It’s not us or them. It’s just us.” And then you can both get to work solving the problem.
Lean in and work on the problem together. A “difficult” person often behaves that way because she is trying to get something she needs, or is trying to make something happen. She probably thinks the only way she can get her colleagues’ attention is by outwardly showing her anger. But we know from experience that the way to get better service is to be a better customer. And the same goes for getting the help we all want from our colleagues.
Let your colleague know—as subtly as possible—that being upset, angry, or “difficult” is not the best way to get what she needs. You can start by saying, “I care. Help me understand what you are concerned about.” By saying this and then listening, often her anger will fade away. Once your colleague has calmed down, you can say, “Thank you for explaining this to me. Let’s solve this problem together. It’s not us or them. It’s just us.” And then you can both get to work solving the problem.
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