I think now.
You are still confused.
You have too much pressure for work, career, ex boyfriend wants another chance,
Thai friendly men you chat with that also want to marry you.
I know you told them no.
But you still go to the dating site.
Maybe you are still not sure about me, and not ready for someone like me.
I gave up chatting with every woman I know.
I know my feelings and the right thing to do.