In a group. members explore what they want, what they have, and what they are not getting. Throughout the process the focus is on getting members to make a self-evaluation to determine the direction in which their behavior is taking them. This assessment provides a basis for making specific changes that will enable the members to reduce their frustrations. Useful questions can help them pinpoint what they want: "What kind of person do you wish you were?" "What would your family be like if your want and their wants matched?" "What would you be doing if you were living the way you wished?" "Is this choice to your best short-term and long-term advantage, and it is consistent with your values?" This line of questioning sets the stage for the application of other procedures in reality therapy.
FOCUS ON CURRENT BEHAVIOR. After clients explore their picture album(want) and needs, they are asked to look at their current behavior to determine if what they are doing is getting them what they want. Wubbolding writes that the therapist holds a mirror before group members and asks: "Will this choice get you where you want to go? Is your destination truly helpful to you?" (1991, p. 93).
Group leaders consistently attempt to focus clients on what they are doing now. They try not to allow clients to talk about events in the past unless these events can be easily related to present situations. Although the problems that members bring to a group may well be rooted in the past, there is little that leaders can do to remove the frustrations of the past. The solution is always in the present, because the need or needs that are unsatisfied are always in the present. What can be done is to help the members choose better behaviors to satisfy their needs (Glasser, 1989, 1992). Thus, the past may be discussed if doing so will help clients plan for a better tomorrow.
Reality therapists also avoid discussing clients' feelings or their physiological reactions as though these were separate from their total behavior. That doesn't imply that attitudes are dismissed as unimportant;rather, the approach is that change in doing is easier than attitudinal change and of greater value in the therapeutic process. The counselor relates clients' feelings or physical symptoms to their concurrent actions and thoughts, over which they have more direct control. For that reason, a client who expressed feelings of helplessness would not be questioned about the reasons for these feelings or encouraged to explore them. Although the counselor might encourage her to discourage her to discuss feelings, the focus would clearly be on urging her to identify actions that were accompanying or supporting the feelings (Glasser, 1989, 1992).
The aim of this emphasis on current behavior is to help clients understand their responsibilities for their own feelings. As a way of encouraging clients to look at what they are actually doing to contribute to their feelings, these questions might be asked: