Monique Truong (@Monique_Truong; “Bitter in the Mouth”; “The Book of Salt”)Discover, “Frog Protection”
Please make the almost-twins ads stop, Discover. Especially this one, which repeats “frog” and “fraud” interchangeably. No one wins—including the viewer.
Mercedes, “Dirty Driving”
Indeed: This is an advertisement featuring two cars—a sleek little sedan and an 18-wheeler truck—seducing each other and then procreating. Excellent use of “Time of My Life,” but the fact that the baby car is so ugly just reminds the viewer that they’ve just witnessed an unholy act.
Cricket Wireless, “More Classes”
This ad, featuring a hat-wearing guy making lame jokes, was so bad, apparently, that Cricket wiped it off the face of the earth. For a while there, this commercial and others in the same campaign were impossible to avoid on Hulu; not offensive, just irritating. Cricket’s got a whole new campaign now; goodbye, hat-wearing guy, sorry that you were so annoying you don’t exist anymore.
Sprint, “Framily” series
What’s more annoying: The word “framily,” the shrieking, the talking hamster, or the fact that Judy Greer is stuck in these terrible commercials?
Chanel, “The One That I Want”
Chanel’s advertising campaign jettisons irony in a sultry campaign that switches the point-of-view of “Grease’s” “You’re the One That I Want—changing it from a sassy female declaration of intent to a weirdly commanding male ballad. You know how Aretha Franklin’s “Respect” was actually written for a man to sing? Like, the literal opposite of that. As Genevieve Valentine points out: They changed the lyrics to “You better shape up/’cause you need a man.”
Gail Tsukiyama (“The Samurai’s Garden”; “A Hundred Flowers”; and others)Axe, “Make Love, Not War”
Back when this aired during the Super Bowl, our own Nico Lang didn’t love it, but it was one of my favorites of the event. Axe is not my preferred scent, but I like the idea of replacing bombs with kisses.
General Electric, “Enhance Your Lighting”
What’s this commercial selling? Oh, who cares! It’s Jeff Goldblum, directed by “Check It Out! With Steve Brule’s” Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim—it’s basically guaranteed to be brilliant.
Cheerios, “Gracie”
The weirdly controversial biracial family returned for a second installment for the Super Bowl, upping the ante of cuteness just enough to be adorable without making it treacly.