Excerpt from chris James,
Negotiation Coach for Executives in New York
The successful negotiator
When negotiating, it’s extremely important to understand how communication works. According to communication theorist Paul Watzlawick, for communication to take place, you have to have someone to send the message –a sender-and someone who receives the message- a receiver.
In short, there are two basic laws:
1. Lt’s not what the sender says, but what the receiver understavds that is true.
2. The sender is responsible for what the receiver understands.
As a result,two truths follow.
1. ‘One cannot not communicate.’ We are always communicating. Even if we stop speaking and say nothing, we would still be communicating something. Most people would probably interpret this as lack of interst or perhaps dislike. Normally we ask them, ‘What is wrong?’
2. ‘Communication takes place at two levels: the content level and the relationship level.’ The content level is what is said-the facts and figures. The relationship level is how it’s said- the feelings and the atmosphere. It’s like an iceberg. 80-90% of communication takes place under water-at the relationship level.
So if you want to be a successful negotiator,get to know the other side well. Only after that, start planning your offer.
OVER TO YOU
• Can you think of a situation where you do not communicate? Discuss this with a partner.
• Do you agree that most communication is based on relationship and much less on content?
• What makes you a good negotiator?