It will not just be with women that these problems of inti macy and attachment make themselves felt. If we look at male friendships, they tend generally to be shallow and superficial. In fact most men have few or no socially intimate relationships with other men in which trust is sufficiently strong to invite selfdisclosure disclosure being a necessary ingredient of intimacy). Social interaction between most men is based on interests such as sport and work, rather than matters of a psychologically significant nature. If a man does have a socially intimate relationship, it is likely to be with a woman, which may reflect the strength of the earlier attachment to his mother and the strength of his distrust of other men. The poor state of men's relationships with each other reflects a number of other factors. For example, many men follow the selfcontained model of their fathers and therefore have neither the inclination nor, perhaps, the capacity for intimacy. Second. most men do not realise that they have the same feelings of vulnerability, fear and dependency as other men. They assume that other men are "real" men and believe that if they disclosed some of their feelings other men would question their virility and despise them. Of course, not all fathers will offer a wholly autonomous model. If a boy's father manages in his own personality to accept and integrate the psychological processes necessary for attachment and other characteristics that are regarded as femi- nine, he will then offer his son a well-adjusted model. If however, in his own early life, he experienced an abandonment by his mother and a father who was psychologically distant and detached he is unlikely to offer his son much help Insofar as a boy's father models only such things as indepen dence and self-containment, the boy will be encouraged to strengthen the boundaries of his own personality. This encour- agement may be needed since if, at an earlier stage, he modelled himself on the empathic capacities of his mother, the distress of another person easily may make contact with his inner life and create emotions that he feels he may not be able to handle and
It will not just be with women that these problems of inti macy and attachment make themselves felt. If we look at male friendships, they tend generally to be shallow and superficial. In fact most men have few or no socially intimate relationships with other men in which trust is sufficiently strong to invite selfdisclosure disclosure being a necessary ingredient of intimacy). Social interaction between most men is based on interests such as sport and work, rather than matters of a psychologically significant nature. If a man does have a socially intimate relationship, it is likely to be with a woman, which may reflect the strength of the earlier attachment to his mother and the strength of his distrust of other men. The poor state of men's relationships with each other reflects a number of other factors. For example, many men follow the selfcontained model of their fathers and therefore have neither the inclination nor, perhaps, the capacity for intimacy. Second. most men do not realise that they have the same feelings of vulnerability, fear and dependency as other men. They assume that other men are "real" men and believe that if they disclosed some of their feelings other men would question their virility and despise them. Of course, not all fathers will offer a wholly autonomous model. If a boy's father manages in his own personality to accept and integrate the psychological processes necessary for attachment and other characteristics that are regarded as femi- nine, he will then offer his son a well-adjusted model. If however, in his own early life, he experienced an abandonment by his mother and a father who was psychologically distant and detached he is unlikely to offer his son much help Insofar as a boy's father models only such things as indepen dence and self-containment, the boy will be encouraged to strengthen the boundaries of his own personality. This encour- agement may be needed since if, at an earlier stage, he modelled himself on the empathic capacities of his mother, the distress of another person easily may make contact with his inner life and create emotions that he feels he may not be able to handle and
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