Read these imaginary testimonials from real customers:
"I was getting up to use the bathroom and didn't want to wake my partner, so I didn't turn on the lights. Not only were my feet cold, but I also stubbed 60% of the toes on my right foot."
"There I was, skipping along my darkened hallways, when all of a sudden I tumbled down the stairs. Wish I'd had these..."
"I was fighting ninjas in my pajamas, and I just couldn't see where my kicks were going."
They need these. You need these. The world needs these. And now you can make them for yourself. I gifted these to my coworker kazmataz, who had the dual problem of having cold toes and an inability to hit ninjas with her kicks. She was also nice enough to model them for the photo shoot, in between battling said ninjas of course.