Jan added several time-sensitive words and phrases, including specifying
when the customer response is due and when the team members
need to let Cathy know if they’ll be attending the morning meeting.
The Empathy Index is lower but still positive:
Them 3
Us (2)
Empathy Index 1
As with all writing, there are multiple options here. Jan’s original
E-mail was good; most people agree that her revision is better, and final
version better still. Remember, don’t ever feel as if you’re on a hunt for
the one “right” way of saying something.