As the leader in the silk flower industry, we create arrangements that are
lush and full and always custom-designed, featuring seasonal blossoms
in an array of colors to create just the look you seek whether the occasion
is a wedding, reunion, business meeting or conference, or other
event. (forty-nine words)
When revising a complicated sentence, it’s often a good approach
to list all of the thoughts being expressed and aim to create separate
sentences.
How many thoughts are expressed in this example? Four: the look
of the flowers, the custom preparation, the contents of the arrangements,
and the occasions the company serves.
Most people, in revising this sentence, combine the first two thoughts
and write a twenty-word sentence, as follows:
As the leader in the silk flower industry, we create arrangements that are
lush and full and always custom designed.
You could have stopped sooner, expressing only one thought. This
approach would create a sixteen-word sentence:
As the leader in the silk flower industry, we create arrangements that are
lush and full.
Continuing on, you could have revised the second thought expressed
in the sentence as a five-word sentence:
Every arrangement is custom designed.
The next thought might be expressed as follows:
All arrangements feature seasonal blossoms in an array of colors to
create just the look you seek. (seventeen words)
The final thought might become:
Our flowers will be perfect, whether the occasion is a wedding, reunion,
business meeting or conference, or other event. (nineteen words)