“The customary code of polite behaviour in society or among members of a particular profession or group.” – Etiquette, the Oxford English Dictionary definition.
Whilst the English penchant for manners and socially appropriate behaviour is renowned across the world, the word etiquette to which we so often refer actually originates from the French estiquette –“to attach or stick”. Indeed the modern understanding of the word can be linked to the Court of the French King Louis XIV, who used small placards called etiquettes, as a reminder to courtiers of accepted ‘house rules’ such as not walking through certain areas of the palace gardens.
Every culture across the ages has been defined by the concept of etiquette and accepted social interaction. However, it is the British – and the English in particular – who have historically been known to place a great deal of importance in good manners. Whether it be in relation to speech, timeliness, body language or dining, politeness is key.
British etiquette dictates courteousness at all times, which means forming an orderly queue in a shop or for public transport, saying excuse me when someone is blocking your way and saying please and thank you for any service you have received is de rigueur.
The British reputation for being reserved is not without merit. Overfamiliarity of personal space or behaviour is a big no-no! When meeting someone for the first time a handshake is always preferable to a hug and a kiss on the cheek is reserved for close friends only. Asking personal questions about salary, relationship status, weight or age (particularly in the case of more ‘mature’ ladies) is also frowned upon.
Traditionally, one of the best examples of the British etiquette is the importance placed on punctuality. It is considered rude to arrive late to a business meeting, medical appointment or formal social occasion such as a wedding. As such it is advisable to arrive 5-10 minutes early to appear professional, prepared and unflustered as a mark of respect to your host. Conversely, should you arrive too early to a dinner party this could also appear slightly rude and ruin the atmosphere for the evening if the host is still completing their preparations. For the same reason an unannounced house call is often frowned upon for risk of inconveniencing the home owner.
Should you be invited to a British dinner party it is customary for a dinner guest to bring a gift for the host or hostess, such as a bottle of wine, a bouquet of flowers or chocolates. Good table manners are essential (particularly if you want to be invited back!) and unless you are attending a barbeque or an informal buffet it is frowned upon to use fingers rather than cutlery to eat. The cutlery should also be held correctly, i.e. the knife in the right hand and the fork in the left hand with the prongs pointing downwards and the food pushed onto the back of the fork with the knife rather than ‘scooped’. At a formal dinner party when there are numerous utensils at your place setting it is customary to begin with the utensils on the outside and work your way inward with each course.