He went away to the country, to a place called Heiligenstadt, and from there he wrote a long farewell letter to his brothers. In this he told them how depressed and lonely his deafness had made him. "It was impossible for me to ask men to speak louder or shout, for I am deaf," he wrote. "How could I possibly admit an infirmity in the one sense (hearing) which should have been more perfect in me than in others...? I must live like an exile." He longed to die, and said to death, "Come when you will, I shall meet you bravely.