A number of years ago, I saw in psychotherapy a divorced woman who was interested in finding someone to date. She did not consider herself particularly choos1y, and she thought of herself as “sort of” attractive; but she had not connected with any man for a considerable period of time. She was troubled, in particular, by what happened repeatedly when she went to singles dances or to bars with her best friend, whom she regarded as “really” attractive. Men frequently approached them only to end up paying attention to her friend and not to her. She wondered whether she was attractive enough to compete. In a more general sense, she was asking whether men are interested solely in dating the most attractive woman they can find.