What (exactly) am I reacting to?
Before making a verbal response to something I don’t like, I will ask myself if my issue is with the person, with a comment or action, or with me.
If I just don’t like the person, I will remind myself that there’s probably nothing he could say that I’d agree with, so reacting to any specific comment is not going to help us get along, which is probably all I might hope for in the relationship.
If I am reacting to a comment, I will try thinking about ways to disagree with the comment without making the person look stupid, feel defensive or wrong. This doesn’t mean I will stay silent, but I will definitely spend time composing my words before firing them off.
I will also ask myself if I experienced anything recently that frustrated me. If I am really resentful or angry about getting a parking ticket or something else that happened to me that day, it’s unfair to be flippant to someone who just happens to be in front of me.
What (exactly) am I reacting to?
Before making a verbal response to something I don’t like, I will ask myself if my issue is with the person, with a comment or action, or with me.
If I just don’t like the person, I will remind myself that there’s probably nothing he could say that I’d agree with, so reacting to any specific comment is not going to help us get along, which is probably all I might hope for in the relationship.
If I am reacting to a comment, I will try thinking about ways to disagree with the comment without making the person look stupid, feel defensive or wrong. This doesn’t mean I will stay silent, but I will definitely spend time composing my words before firing them off.
I will also ask myself if I experienced anything recently that frustrated me. If I am really resentful or angry about getting a parking ticket or something else that happened to me that day, it’s unfair to be flippant to someone who just happens to be in front of me.
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