I'm sorry for cheating on you. I broke my vows. I never stopped loving you though, that was the difference, it was to try and fill the void of emptyness that was inside me, there was nothing to look forward to, nothing but aloneness in my life. I wanted to fill this void with you and your companionship and love. But you weren't there. Week after week, month after month, year after year, I was alone in our marriage. You withheld yourself from me in anger from the past.... not allowing you to be the person you needed to be and are. I see that now. But you did the same to me too. We were always doomed. That was the flap of thunder when you said you loved me for the first time, thunder I understand now. I thought you were the love of my life... 24 years together, but now I know that is not true. He is out there somewhere waiting for me. I want to ask your forgiveness now, so I can release this self loathing and atone for my wrongs. I know in my heart I always loved you. I was devastated when you left me for her. It has taken me years to get to this point. To get to say this: I'm sorry for my wrongs of the past, I wish you happiness and love in your life as I let go of our marriage. "S