In North America children often are the center of attention. They are the bright future. They are precious. To some au pairs this focus on the children’s desires and wishes might seem unusual. Some au pairs have the impression that their host children have a bigger voice and a stronger personality than children in their home country. Some would even interpret this self-confident behavior as lack of respect for the elder. Sometimes we hear from au pairs “American kids rule the house.” or “American kids have more rights.”. When you see something that feels strange, stop and reflect; try to understand the underlying beliefs and values. We learned that Americans value independence of their children and raise them to become self-confident people who make good choices in life.
While in other countries, it often is the parents who make decisions for their children, in the USA children are often given choices and that may start as early as with toddler age. It is believed that giving them a chance to make decisions results in fewer power struggles and that therefore less disciplining is needed. You might hear parents asking their children: “What do you want for lunch – grilled cheese with ham or with tomato? Do you want to wear the red or the blue t-shirt to school today? Would you like to play ball or play in the sandbox?”.
You will learn more how to encourage this communication strategy with your host children at the training school.