A Bloomsbury Intellectual
Bloomsbury intellectuals do not want to look like each other so they all wear the same
clothes: brown trousers, yellow shirt, green and blue jacket. They also like purple shoes.
They choose these clothes very carefully to show that they do not think clothes are important.
It is terribly important that the B.I. always has a three-day beard because shaving is only for ordinary people. (Some B.I.s think washing is only for ordinary people, too. ) At first it is quite difficult to shave a four-day beard so that it looks like a three-day beard but, with practice, a B.I. can always have a perfect three-day beard.
To be a Bloomsbury Intellectual you must be rude, because you have to show day and night that the silly little rules of the country are not meant for you. If you find it is too difficult to stop being polite, to stop saying ‘Hello’, and ‘How do you do ?’
* Bloomsbury is a part of Central London University. An intellectual is somebody who think he is very clever.
And ‘Thank you’ etc., then go to a Bloomsbury school for bad manners. There you can learn to be rude. After two weeks, you will not feel bad if, on purpose, you stand on the foot of somebody you do not like as you get on the bus.
Finally, remember the most important rule. Always be different! Only think and talk about new ideas. This is not difficult; just think and talk about the same new ideas that other Bloomsbury Intellectuals think and talk about.