Account Manager: TIL that certain web page requests are taking forever to load on some of our servers. One client in particular is really pissed off.
Sysadmin: what is the name of the client?
Account Manager: Svensson Trucking Supply
Sysadmin: brb i need to be afk for 30 minutes
Account Manager: 30 minutes? this guy is a major client and management says we need to fix this issue asap. they told me you were the 1337 alpha geek who could resolve this issue right away.
Sysadmin: lol... 1337 alpha geeks need to eat lunch too :P
Account Manager: LMAO that you would eat lunch right now. Please look into the problem BEFORE lunch!
Sysadmin: okay gimme 5 minutes
Time passes...
Account Manager: Did you find the problem?
Sysadmin: wow did i... imho the site was set up by a total n00b. there is a major security hole in their iis web server. someone set up a warez site on a subdomain and there are 100 leeches sucking up all the bandwidth.
Account Manager: WTF. No wonder their site is so slow
Sysadmin: they are using a really old version of iis server. let me upgrade and patch it for them.
Account Manager: Okay. I will call the client and update them on the status.
Time passes...
Sysadmin: okay the server is patched and running normally. now im gonna go eat... 1337 alpha geek ftw!
Account Manager: Nice work! Thanks a million!!!!
Sysadmin: how about telling management to give me a raise since im the only one who knows how to solve client problems?
Account Manager: Wow that's funny. I'm literally ROTFL
Sysadmin: FU
Account Manager: Hahahaha! I'll pretend I didn't hear that. L8R skater.
This is the end of the reading!