he just hadn't thought it would be this secret that would separate them. he was unworthy of her for many reasons, reasons he'd hid like a coward. it wasn't a question of love, for Gabriel did not believe that she could ever love him. he was unlovable. nonetheless, he'd hoped to be able to court her long enough for their affection and friendship to bind them together, even in the face of some of his darkness. now it was too late.