This seat.
I can still remember when you'd read that stupid Nicholas Sparks book. You always end up crying and I'd just stare. I couldn't do anything, I don't know why but you looked beautiful despite the tears on your eyes.
Earphones plugged on each side of his ear, Chanyeol wanders around the bigass library. To be very honest, he doesn't know what the hell he's doing here. He's just actually accompanying his friend, Baekhyun who's probably lost in a maze of bookcases, that dumbass.
He sat down the black colored chair, Literature area. Resting wouldn't hurt, would it?
He then stares across the distance and gets distracted as a figure blocks his view. Black hair, tied down. Pale skin. He peeks slightly to see her face and right at that moment, he knew who it was. It was Choi Jinri. His first love ever since the first day. He was starstrucked at first, but once he became friends with her, he fell in an instant.
Jinri's the typical girl you see in his university. Pale skin, that magical aura, pretty face, silky hair. To some people, she was avergae. To some, she's kind of a goddess. To him, she's Jinri. Everybody called her Sulli since it was the name she started with when they started to study there, but he still calls her by her real name.
Blankly thinking if he should approach her, it kills him. You stupid dummy. You're friends, why won't you get close and speak up already? Damn it. And it was only because Jinri was reading that Nicholas Sparks book again. He'd always see a handful of those pocketbook that Jinri reads. He tries to talk to her about it at the past but there was one thing.
He hates reading.
Reading is one of the things that Chanyeol despised to do. He even shocked himself that he got to graduate high school with barely reading a text book. He remembers getting books as gifts as a kid and he'd whine then he'd get toys instead. That was typical Park Chanyeol, and he accepted that he never liked reading and will never learn how to even finish one.
"Chanyeol?" A sound breaks his thoughts.
"Oh! Uh- Jinri!" He shows off that weird grin of his, noticing that he was staring at her before he snapped back to reality.
"What're you doing here?" She laughs harmoniously. Oh how it sounded so great to him. "It's a miracle to see you here."
He laughs nervously, a hand quickly going right at the back of his head. "Well, uh... I was escorting someone. So... yeah. What about you?"
"Sunyoung unnie's borrowing a book and I'm waiting for her. And you know me, this is where I always sit. Of course, you don't know that.. you barely go here." She laughs brightly at him then stands up to sit right next to him, making Chanyeol a little bit flustered. "I'll stay with you then. It sucks being alone. Don't you think?"
God damn. Is this a dream? "Oh, sure." He then smiles cheekily as he nods. Don't wake me up.
And at that moment, his earphone were on hers and the other end at his. Laughing, but maybe not too much. Hoping that the noise they make wouldn't get kicked out by the old librarian.
This seat you always sat on.
Do you remember the days we'd always meet up at that exact spot? You'd be on your seat and I'd be at the next one. We'll listen to music and play games on my phone. You'd tell all about the book you're reading and I'll fake sleep on you.
"Psst!" A sudden sound took Chanyeol's attention. He lifts his head up to face the direction where it went and there was Jinri. Wearing a light blue sundress that reached just on her knees, white shoes just like what she would always wear when she's in a good mood.
"Well, you're late." He chuckles as his eyes trail her down until she sits on her usual seat.
"Uhm, excuse you. I did text you that I had a book-reading class at the past hour. Were you waiting for long?" She laughs lightly. Making his smile widen more while letting out a faint laugh.
"A text? My phone's broken.. so... yeah, I was." He scratches the back of his head as he mutters the response. "Damn it."
"Hey, hey. No vulgar words mister."
"That wasn't even.."
"You know me. I don't like those expressions.." She shrugs slightly, thumbs fiddling against each other with her lips pursed to the side.
He chuckles, knowing how much of a goody two shoes Jinri was, according to Yeol. And he was the exact opposite. She doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't even curse. He does... well only for the cursing part.
"Alright, I'll try to stop saying it." He presses his lips into a thin line then it forms into a smile when he sees her usual smile.
"Good." She smiles then takes his hand, making him a bit bewildered as she stands up. "Let's go then."
"What?" He blinks momentarily then following her motions as she stands up. "Where are we going? It's late, Jinri."
"Hm, the library's closing and it wouldn't be that bad to try and get past curfew for a while.. right? Let's go to the rooftop." She shows that eyesmile again, making Chanyeol feel tons of butterflies fluttering onto his stomach.
"Alright then. If we get caught, it's your fault." He then shakes his head in dismay, but then followed with a chuckle right after.
"Oh.. and Chanyeol?"
"Yeah, Jinri?"
"It's a date."
Now it has no one sitting on it.
I don't know what happened the next few months, we were happy at first but at times.. you were... quiet. You were upset most of the time, you were sad. When we were there at the library again.. It was awkward. And everytime I started a conversation.. you'll reply with one word or so.
"Hey... Jinri?"
"Mhm?" She merely utters a sound, eyes locked down onto the floor while Chanyeol looks at her.
"Are you sure you're okay? It's been a few weeks now since you've been really, really silent. And you don't smile like before.." His eyes show the sign of worry. Eyebrow furrowed, he tils his head down to peek right at her pale face.
"it's nothing... I'm just really stressed out with studies.. so, yeah." She lets out a faint smile as her gaze locks with his. "Don't worry about me, okay?" Then, lifting a hand up to cup his cheek with the other hand occupied by the last Nicholas Sparks book she's reading.
"Alright.." He smiles, maybe not that much reassured but he trusts her.
Its been a few more days since they've been in the library, Chanyeol stays mostly at her dorm room at nights. He sneaks out and barely gets caught. One time, a guard spotted him getting down from a tree, good thing he was a runner. And he barely got caught in the end. And it happens until it was normal between them. Chanyeol usually sits on his bed with her head leaning against his lap, reading Nicholas Sparks's A Walk to Remember. At weekends, they'd mostly finish schoolwork on schooldays and they'd have the time for each other by then. Jinri even made a list of what she wants for them to do. Get past curfew without getting caught. Go picnic outside campus. Cut classes. Drink beer for the first time. Get a fake tattoo. It was odd, but Chanyeol didn't question a single bit of it. He thought it was cute.
Jinri feels uneasy and it's almost the finals. Yeol knows she's stressed but he always reassures her that she'd be doing fine until the end of the school year.
"Yeol.."
"Yeah?"
"I have to tell you something.."
"If it's about the finals, Jinri.. I'm telling you. You're gonna ace i-"
"N-No.. not that." A visibly faint Jinri stands up infront of him, taking a deep breath as she cuts his words before his sentence ends. "I... I'm moving away."
He laughs, thinking how she could make up a joke all of a sudden. "What're you talking about, Jinri?"
"I..." She continues weakly, tears forming onto the edges of her eyes. "I have to move away.."
".....Jinri.."
"I wanna break up."
"Don't.. please. Don't leave me.."
Tears were streaming down Jinri's eyes. Chanyeol was dumbfounded and his heart hurts. So does hers, but he still doesn't understand why she had to do this.
"Don't make this harder for me Yeol.."
"At least tell me what the damn problem is!"
"It's.. It's not you! It's me! Just please! Leave!" Just as she snaps, she tries to push him out the door with all she had. Trying not to face any more interrogation.
The day ends with tears on Jinri's cheeks as she sleeps. Confusion and anger on Chanyeol as he fades to slumber.
Sophomore Choi Jinri dropped out of school with what-God-knows whatever reasons she had. Chanyeol was mindlessly staring blankly at every class. Feeling maybe a bit hurt until now, and empty inside.
It's been months.
Exactly six months ever since he heard from her. Been six months since the last time he had her in his arms. But now, he feels like he lost a part of him. A part of his life.
It feels exactly like he's dead.
Chanyeol lies on his bed. Staring onto the ceiling with tons of missed calls notified on his phone. Right now, all he wanted was to hear her voice. And he was for sure that it wasn't from her. He wanted no one else but her. Jinri. His Jinri.
"A letter for Park Chanyeol!" A voice comes out from his door, then making him stand up. He opens the door and a letter with a brown packaged paper wrapped on something. A letter? Maybe it's from her. God, please be okay. Please let it be from you.
He quickly goes inside, kicking the door closed as he sits down onto his study table.
From: Choi Jinri
To: Park Chanyeol
As soon as he sees the enevelope, he opens it without any form of hesitation. His eyes widen as he folds the letter open, expecting on how she's doing. Is she ever coming back? Does she miss him? Is she eating well? Where is she? A lot of unanswered questions gather onto his head. Making him feel like a part of him was coming back.
But as soon as he starts reading it until the end... his heart sinks.
Chanyeol.
When you read this... I'm probably gone. I'm writing this on a hospital bed.. Sucks so bad. I miss you. I miss us. I had to move away without telling you why and I had to leave you
ที่นั่งนี้ ฉันสามารถยังจำได้ว่า เมื่อคุณอ่านหนังสือที่นิโคลัสสปาร์คโง่ คุณเสมอท้ายร้องไห้ และฉันจะมอง ไม่สามารถทำอะไร ฉันไม่รู้ว่าทำไม แต่คุณดูสวยงามแม้ มีน้ำตาที่ในสายตาของคุณ ต่อแต่ละด้านของหู หูฟัง Chanyeol wanders สถานรี bigass ที่จะซื่อสัตย์มาก เขาไม่รู้นรกเขาทำอะไรอยู่ที่นี่ เขาเป็นเพียงจริงมาพร้อมกับเพื่อนของเขา Baekhyun ที่มีอาจหายไปในเขาวงกตของ bookcases, dumbass ที่ เขานั่งลงเก้าอี้สีดำ วรรณกรรม ที่เหลือจะไม่เจ็บ จะได้หรือไม่ เขา stares ข้ามระยะทาง แล้วได้รับฟุ้งซ่านเป็นรูปแบบบล็อกของเขาดู ผมดำ เชื่อมโยงลง ผิวซีด เขา peeks เล็กน้อยเพื่อดูใบหน้าของเธอ และที่ช่วงเวลานั้น เขารู้ซึ่งก็ มันเป็น Choi Jinri รักแรกของเขานับตั้งแต่วันแรก เขา starstrucked ที่แรก แต่เมื่อเขากลายเป็นเพื่อนกับเธอ เขาตกในทันที Jinri ของสาวทั่วไปที่คุณดูในมหาวิทยาลัยของเขา ผิวซีด aura ที่ขลัง สวยหน้า โค้ท บางคน เธอ avergae ไป เธอเป็นเจ้าของ เขา เธอเป็น Jinri ทุกคนเรียกว่า Sulli ของเธอตั้งแต่เธอเริ่มต้นด้วยเมื่อพวกเขาเริ่มที่จะศึกษามี แต่เขายังคงเรียกเธอ ด้วยชื่อจริงเธอชื่อ Blankly คิดว่า ถ้า เขาจะเข้าหาเธอ มันฆ่า คุณโง่หุ่น คุณเพื่อน ไม่คุณได้ใกล้ชิด และพูดขึ้นแล้ว ให้ตายสิ และก็ เพราะ Jinri ได้อ่านหนังสือที่นิโคลัสสปาร์คอีก เขาจะเห็นกำมือของเหล่า pocketbook ที่ Jinri อ่านเสมอ เขาพยายามที่จะพูดคุยกับเธอเกี่ยวกับเรื่องที่ผ่านมา แต่มีสิ่งหนึ่ง เขาเกลียดการอ่าน อ่านได้ Chanyeol ชิงทำอย่างใดอย่างหนึ่ง เขาแม้ shocked เองที่เขาได้ไปศึกษามัธยม ด้วยแทบไม่อ่านหนังสือ เขาจดจำได้รับหนังสือเป็นของขวัญเป็นเด็ก และเขาจะ whine แล้วเขาจะได้รับของเล่นแทน ที่ Chanyeol สวนทั่วไป และเขายอมรับว่า เขาไม่ชอบอ่าน และไม่เคยเรียนการจะเสร็จสิ้นหนึ่ง "Chanyeol" เสียงแบ่งความคิดของเขา "โอ้ บริการ-Jinri " เขาแสดงปิดรอบ ๆ ไร้ที่แปลกของเขา ซักถามที่เขาถูกจ้องเธอก่อนเขาจัดชิดกลับความเป็นจริง "กำลังทำอะไรที่นี่" เธอหัวเราะทีอย่างกลมกลืน โอ้ ว่ามันแต่เพียงแห่งดีกับเขา "มันเป็นมิราเคิลจะเห็นคุณที่นี่" เขาหัวเราะทีคน มือไปอย่างรวดเร็วทางด้านหลังศีรษะของเขา "ดี บริการ... ผมได้พาคน ดังนั้น... ใช่ อะไรคุณบ้าง" "Sunyoung unnie ของยืมหนังสือ และผมกำลังรอเธอ และคุณรู้ว่าฉัน เป็นที่ฉันมักจะนั่ง แน่นอน ไม่ทราบที่... คุณแทบไม่ไปที่นี่" เธอหัวเราะทีสดใสที่เขา แล้วยืนขึ้นนั่งทางขวาถัดจากเขา ทำ Chanyeol น้อยเกิดความสับสน "ฉันจะอยู่กับคุณแล้ว มันครับคนเดียว ไม่คิดว่า " God damn. Is this a dream? "Oh, sure." He then smiles cheekily as he nods. Don't wake me up. And at that moment, his earphone were on hers and the other end at his. Laughing, but maybe not too much. Hoping that the noise they make wouldn't get kicked out by the old librarian. This seat you always sat on. Do you remember the days we'd always meet up at that exact spot? You'd be on your seat and I'd be at the next one. We'll listen to music and play games on my phone. You'd tell all about the book you're reading and I'll fake sleep on you. "Psst!" A sudden sound took Chanyeol's attention. He lifts his head up to face the direction where it went and there was Jinri. Wearing a light blue sundress that reached just on her knees, white shoes just like what she would always wear when she's in a good mood. "Well, you're late." He chuckles as his eyes trail her down until she sits on her usual seat. "Uhm, excuse you. I did text you that I had a book-reading class at the past hour. Were you waiting for long?" She laughs lightly. Making his smile widen more while letting out a faint laugh. "A text? My phone's broken.. so... yeah, I was." He scratches the back of his head as he mutters the response. "Damn it." "Hey, hey. No vulgar words mister." "That wasn't even.." "You know me. I don't like those expressions.." She shrugs slightly, thumbs fiddling against each other with her lips pursed to the side.
He chuckles, knowing how much of a goody two shoes Jinri was, according to Yeol. And he was the exact opposite. She doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't even curse. He does... well only for the cursing part.
"Alright, I'll try to stop saying it." He presses his lips into a thin line then it forms into a smile when he sees her usual smile.
"Good." She smiles then takes his hand, making him a bit bewildered as she stands up. "Let's go then."
"What?" He blinks momentarily then following her motions as she stands up. "Where are we going? It's late, Jinri."
"Hm, the library's closing and it wouldn't be that bad to try and get past curfew for a while.. right? Let's go to the rooftop." She shows that eyesmile again, making Chanyeol feel tons of butterflies fluttering onto his stomach.
"Alright then. If we get caught, it's your fault." He then shakes his head in dismay, but then followed with a chuckle right after.
"Oh.. and Chanyeol?"
"Yeah, Jinri?"
"It's a date."
Now it has no one sitting on it.
I don't know what happened the next few months, we were happy at first but at times.. you were... quiet. You were upset most of the time, you were sad. When we were there at the library again.. It was awkward. And everytime I started a conversation.. you'll reply with one word or so.
"Hey... Jinri?"
"Mhm?" She merely utters a sound, eyes locked down onto the floor while Chanyeol looks at her.
"Are you sure you're okay? It's been a few weeks now since you've been really, really silent. And you don't smile like before.." His eyes show the sign of worry. Eyebrow furrowed, he tils his head down to peek right at her pale face.
"it's nothing... I'm just really stressed out with studies.. so, yeah." She lets out a faint smile as her gaze locks with his. "Don't worry about me, okay?" Then, lifting a hand up to cup his cheek with the other hand occupied by the last Nicholas Sparks book she's reading.
"Alright.." He smiles, maybe not that much reassured but he trusts her.
Its been a few more days since they've been in the library, Chanyeol stays mostly at her dorm room at nights. He sneaks out and barely gets caught. One time, a guard spotted him getting down from a tree, good thing he was a runner. And he barely got caught in the end. And it happens until it was normal between them. Chanyeol usually sits on his bed with her head leaning against his lap, reading Nicholas Sparks's A Walk to Remember. At weekends, they'd mostly finish schoolwork on schooldays and they'd have the time for each other by then. Jinri even made a list of what she wants for them to do. Get past curfew without getting caught. Go picnic outside campus. Cut classes. Drink beer for the first time. Get a fake tattoo. It was odd, but Chanyeol didn't question a single bit of it. He thought it was cute.
Jinri feels uneasy and it's almost the finals. Yeol knows she's stressed but he always reassures her that she'd be doing fine until the end of the school year.
"Yeol.."
"Yeah?"
"I have to tell you something.."
"If it's about the finals, Jinri.. I'm telling you. You're gonna ace i-"
"N-No.. not that." A visibly faint Jinri stands up infront of him, taking a deep breath as she cuts his words before his sentence ends. "I... I'm moving away."
He laughs, thinking how she could make up a joke all of a sudden. "What're you talking about, Jinri?"
"I..." She continues weakly, tears forming onto the edges of her eyes. "I have to move away.."
".....Jinri.."
"I wanna break up."
"Don't.. please. Don't leave me.."
Tears were streaming down Jinri's eyes. Chanyeol was dumbfounded and his heart hurts. So does hers, but he still doesn't understand why she had to do this.
"Don't make this harder for me Yeol.."
"At least tell me what the damn problem is!"
"It's.. It's not you! It's me! Just please! Leave!" Just as she snaps, she tries to push him out the door with all she had. Trying not to face any more interrogation.
The day ends with tears on Jinri's cheeks as she sleeps. Confusion and anger on Chanyeol as he fades to slumber.
Sophomore Choi Jinri dropped out of school with what-God-knows whatever reasons she had. Chanyeol was mindlessly staring blankly at every class. Feeling maybe a bit hurt until now, and empty inside.
It's been months.
Exactly six months ever since he heard from her. Been six months since the last time he had her in his arms. But now, he feels like he lost a part of him. A part of his life.
It feels exactly like he's dead.
Chanyeol lies on his bed. Staring onto the ceiling with tons of missed calls notified on his phone. Right now, all he wanted was to hear her voice. And he was for sure that it wasn't from her. He wanted no one else but her. Jinri. His Jinri.
"A letter for Park Chanyeol!" A voice comes out from his door, then making him stand up. He opens the door and a letter with a brown packaged paper wrapped on something. A letter? Maybe it's from her. God, please be okay. Please let it be from you.
He quickly goes inside, kicking the door closed as he sits down onto his study table.
From: Choi Jinri
To: Park Chanyeol
As soon as he sees the enevelope, he opens it without any form of hesitation. His eyes widen as he folds the letter open, expecting on how she's doing. Is she ever coming back? Does she miss him? Is she eating well? Where is she? A lot of unanswered questions gather onto his head. Making him feel like a part of him was coming back.
But as soon as he starts reading it until the end... his heart sinks.
Chanyeol.
When you read this... I'm probably gone. I'm writing this on a hospital bed.. Sucks so bad. I miss you. I miss us. I had to move away without telling you why and I had to leave you
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