sexual problems as the patient’s responsibility and did not
want to pressure them to seek medical advice.
The individuals could have different views of the same
event. The patient could describe the recovery period as short
and easy, while the partner expressed it as extended suffering
with large problems for the patient and themselves. Individuals
in couples could also have very different strategies in
preparing for life after surgery. In one couple, the patient was
prepared for every aspect of recovery from cancer and surgery,
while the partner was unprepared and became overwhelmed
by the patient’s needs during the recovery period. Furthermore,
one patient described embarrassment for the unpleasant
odours after emptying the stoma bandage. The partner knew
about these feelings but had no problem with the smell.
Irritation and tension occurred in relations, for some
because of the unwanted change of social life. Life after
cancer surgery was not only shadowed by the experience of
having cancer but by other health problems and problems of
old age as well.