The ways people manage their conflicts can be infinite. Research and theory
converges on the taxonomy advanced in Blake and Mouton’s (1964)
Conflict Management Grid, and its close cousin Dual Concern Theory
(Pruitt & Rubin, 1986; see also Thomas, 1992). Although labelling differs
across theories, four different ways of managing conflict are distinguished—
contending (or forcing), conceding (or yielding), avoiding (comprising
inaction and withdrawing), and collaborating (or problem solving).
Contending—trying to impose one’s will onto the other side—involves
threats and bluffs, persuasive arguments, and positional commitments.
Conceding, which is oriented towards accepting and incorporating the
other’s will, involves unilateral concessions, unconditional promises, and
offering help. Avoiding, which involves a passive stance, is aimed at
reducing and downplaying the importance of the conflict issues, and at
suppressing thinking about them. Collaborating, finally, is oriented towards
achieving an agreement that satisfies both one’s own and the other’s
aspirations as much as possible, and involves an exchange of information
about priorities and preferences, showing insights, and making tradeoffs
between important and unimportant issues.