I first went to America. I must have visited every state, but I did not find what I was looking for. The women I met were either too thin or too fat, too quiet or too noisy, too fair or too dark. So I set off for Australia. I didn't stay there very long. Most of the women I met were much too, well, self-confident. They made me feel uncomfortable. Then I went to Thailand. The women there were lovely, but much too shy, and anyway I prefer taller women. Finally, I found myself back in my own country. I was sad. How was it possible to meet so many women and not find one that suited me?