Chapter 9: Infection
Chapter Summary:
Kazumi being pissed with her Papa and refused to visit him.
Jin's condition took a turn for the worst and ended up in ICU.... will he survive?!!
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“Kazumi, want to visit Papa today?”
“No.”
“Papa is asking why you didn’t visit him at all.”
“Just tell him that I’m very busy.”
Actually, I wasn’t busy at all. I was just…
It had been more than a week and I was still unable to make myself step into the hospital. The messages that Papa wrote for Kamenashi in his younger days eroded my trust in Papa. I was afraid that I would just burst out asking him about the journal, and the “promise” that he had with Kamenashi --
“Kame, don’t you think ‘Kazumi’ is such a wonderful name?
I, Akanishi Jin, is willing to use my entire lifetime to watch over this name.”
I had an inkling of the entire picture by then… from the writings on the journal, the messages on the memo pads and the farewell letter from Kamenashi to Papa. These evidences pointed toward a truth that I was unwilling to face up to.
For that period, I rolled my eyes at whoever that called out my name. I acted like a brat by refusing to visit Papa, disobeying Mama, rejecting calls from Pi and Uncle Maru. My willfulness continued till the day that the nurses called to say that Papa’s condition had suddenly worsened.
Infection.
This word explained everything. And it justified that even medical science wasn’t absolute. The very same wound that was healing fast became the very root of the infection. The virus had entered his system and his white blood cells were multiplying. All the abnormalities pointed to Papa’s rapidly deteriorating health.
It rained heavily in Tokyo that night.
A strike of lightning lit up the night sky for a moment and thundering rumbles covered Mama’s sobbings and my breathing. It was the first time that it felt like an eternity just to get to the hospital. It seemed unreachable.
I saw my flustered reflection in the glass window of the taxi. It was only then that I truly regretted my own behaviour.
I shouldn’t have thrown a tantrum. I shouldn’t…
Chapter 9a: ICU
Our hurried footsteps echoed in the silent corridor and it was the first time that I was terrified of the silence in there.
Papa got transferred into the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) and the doctors spoke to Pi and Uncle Maru, who rushed to the hospital immediately upon hearing the news.
“Sister-in-law, Maru’s inside. Jin hasn’t woke up”. Pi told us.
According to the doctors, although antibiotics could slow down the infection, Papa needed to be kept under close observation. Everything else would depend largely on the patient’s condition itself.
I looked at Mama.
Her eyes were puffy and I could feel her trembling. The past few weeks’ worth of shuttling between hospital and home took a toll on her; she aged a fair bit just within this period of time.
I had never been as regretful as then. Feeling of reproach overwhelmed me…
Mama and the doctor disappeared at corner of the corridor.
Only 2 people were allowed into the ICU at any time. So Pi and I waited for Mama and Uncle Maru to come out before we put on the sanitized gown. And then, we entered the ICU ward.
There was a heavy smell of disinfectant and rotting.
The ward was filled with hushed conversation among the nurses and the beeping of the machines. The unusual silence was so scary that I could hear my heart thumping. If I didn’t hold on to my hands tightly, I might be just consumed by fear.
Papa’s room was the second last one.
His originally thin face looked more pale than before. It was hard to imagine that he was the same person that joked around with me before he was hospitalized.
Weren’t his injuries a minor case? Didn’t the doctors say that he was making good progress in recovery? Papa told me that when my exams ended, his current load of work would be completed too, and we could go on a trip to Hokkaido again…
Why did it change overnight?
I wanted to hear him speak to me again, He could scold me as much as he liked. I wouldn't mind it at all…
Pi patted my shoulder, “Don’t worry, Papa will be fine.”
I shook my head in response. My throat had a lump stuck in it and rendered me speechless. This sudden impact disabled me of any ability to think, but yet my mind told me to be prepared for the worst scenario that could possibly happen.
I moved closer to hold Papa’s hands, and the warmth from his palms made my heart ached.
I only realized that he was mumbling something when I was patting his arms.
My heart skipped a beat, and I inched my ears nearer to his mouth.
The mumbling was almost inaudible; it took me a couple of times before I realized he was calling out to a name.
“…Kazumi…”
I drew in a sharp breathe.
Kazumi?.... Papa, were you calling me? Or….
Papa’s brows were knotted and his mumblings sounded so sad.
I couldn’t decide which Kazumi he was missing and calling out to…
Tears broke their barrier and rushed down my cheeks. The mystery was still there, and now, there were additional sadness to it.
After so many years, Kamenashi was still the one that Papa missed the most?
Papa’s pale face hinted to me that I might really lose him very soon, and that terrified the hell out of me. I was really scared that he would never wake up again. I held on to his hands tightly, and whispered to him in between my sobs.
“Papa, you promised to watch over Kazumi forever, have you forgotten about that?”
As long as Papa could recover, it didn’t matter who he was doing it for. Even if he recovered for that person in his memories, it was fine with me. I just wanted to see Papa living healthily and happily again.