As a single sentence, what's the key impact of your research? Here we're not looking for the outcome of an experiment. We're looking for a summary of the implications What's it all mean? Why should other people care? What can they do with your research. (Essay folks: all the same questions apply: what conclusions did you draw. And why would anyone care about them? The abstract I started with summarizes my approach to abstract writing as an abstract. But l suspect I might have been trying to be too. clever. So here's a simpler one: (i) In widgetology, it's long been understood that you have to glomp the widgets before you can squiffle them. (2) But there is still no known general method to determine when they've been sufficiently. glomped. (3) The literature describes several specialist techniques that measure how wizzled or how whomped the widgets have become auring glomping, but all of these involve slowing down the glomping, and thus risking a fracturing of the widgets. (4) In this thesis. , we introduce a new glomping technique, which we call googa-glomping, that allows direct measurement of whifflization, a superior metric for assessing squiffle-readiness. (5) We describe a series of experiments on each of the five major types of widget,. and show that in each case, g runs faster than competing techniques, and produces glomped widgets perfect for squiffling. (6) We expect this new approach to dramatically reduce that are uiffled widgets without any loss of quality, and hence make mass production the cost of.