Most teenagers come from homes where they have been cared for and loved. Everyone was a teenager at one stage and surprisingly most get through these years and turn out OK.
Sometimes we have to watch while they make mistakes which we feel could have been prevented if they had taken our advice.
Allowing your teenager to eventually become a responsible adult can only occur by allowing them to take on responsibilities.
Note: If your young person is making choices that are really dangerous it is important to get some professional help - some consequences are too dangerous to learn from.
How can I keep control ?
Growing up is about learning to rely more on your own self control compared to a child
whose parents do all the controlling for them.
Basically there is nothing that you can do to bring your teenager under total control. This would defeat the lessons they must learn to become an adult. Have a look at 'Discipline (teens)'.