Ten Tips for Client-Centred Counsellors
1.Set clear boundaries. For example, when and how long you want the session to last. You may also want to rule out certain topics of conversation.
2.The client knows best. The client is the expert on his/her own difficulties. It’s better to let the client explain what is wrong. Don’t fall into the trap of telling them what their problem is or how they should solve it.
3.Act as a sounding board. One useful technique is to listen carefully to what the client is saying and then try to explain to him/her what you think he/she is telling you in your own words. This can not only help you clarify the client’s point of view, it can also help the client understand his/her feelings better and begin to look for a constructive way forward.
4.Don’t be judgmental. Some clients may feel that their personal problems mean that they fall short of the ‘ideal’. They may need to feel reassured that they will be accepted for the person that they are and not face rejection or disapproval.
5.Don’t make decisions for them. Remember advice is a dangerous gift. Also, some clients will not want to take responsibility for making their own decisions. They may need to be reminded that nobody else can or should be allowed to choose for them. Of course you can still help them explore the consequences of the options open to them.
6.Concentrate on what they are really saying. Sometimes this will not be clear at the outset. Often a client will not tell you what is really bothering him/her until he/she feels sure of you. Listen carefully – the problem you are initially presented with may not be the real problem at all.
7.Be genuine. If you simply present yourself in your official role the client is unlikely to want to reveal personal details about themselves. This may mean disclosing things about yourself – not necessarily facts, but feelings as well. Don’t be afraid to do this – bearing in mind that you are under no obligation to disclose anything you do not want to.
8.Accept negative emotions. Some clients may have negative feelings about themselves, their family or even you. Try to work through their aggression without taking offence, but do not put up with personal abuse.
9.How you speak can be more important than what you say. It is possible to convey a great deal through your tone of voice. Often it will be found helpful to slow down the pace of conversation. Short pauses where the client (and you) have time to reflect on the direction of the session can also be useful.
10.I may not be the best person to help. Knowing yourself and your own limitations can be just as important as understanding the client’s point of view. No person centred counsellor succeeds all the time. Sometimes you will be able to help but you will never know. Remember the purpose of a counselling session is not to make you feel good about yourself.